Sorry It's Been So Long/Trip Update

Sorry this update's so long in coming... It got pretty busy around here for a while. I did go to the doctor like I said I would about going on the trip. She wasn't sure what she should do, so she called the referral department at TriCare, and then gave me the information I needed. It was easy. I was in and out really fast. I had another appointment with Women's Health the day before we left for Missouri. I got a refill on my iron pills, and the doctor palpated my belly to determine Junior's position. She found him head down, which is good. As he gets less and less room in there, he's less likely to suddenly switch positions on me and become breech. That would mean a C-section, no doubt. But, oh, man! Junior did not like all the poking and prodding she did! He started pushing and kicking as soon as she stopped! I just kinda laughed. The doctor did tell me that the next time I come in, at my 36-week appt., I was going to have a test for Group B strep bacteria. Apparently this is a normal bacteria in our intestines, and given the proximity of our waste disposal area to our playground, it is possible for that bacteria to find its way into the birth canal. They will swab the outer rim of the vagina, and if they find the strep, the baby will be given antibiotics soon after birth. I haven't had a vaginal exam since November, this should be fun.... heh, heh, heh.... ahem.

Anyhow, we left for our trip on Saturday morning. We made really good time, and were able to stay in a familiar city with the smell of cattle farms nearby, what a great smell to farm kids... :) We made it to Bryan's mom's house in the early afternoon, and hung out there for a few hours. We had to leave Sabre with her, since our resort didn't allow pets. But we were back the next day to have lunch at the restaurant where Bryan used to work, and to see some of his extended family. That night we were at his mom's so he could have her help him with his resume. They got to talking about the online game they play together, then his stepdad and brother joined in, since they play too. I just sat there twiddling my thumbs. I don't play the game, don't really have much desire to play the game, so I had no idea what they were talking about. Oh well.

Our resort was beautiful. We had an incredible view of the lake, a full kitchen with all utensils and cooking pots and pans provided. We had a dishwasher, which was awesome! The master bedroom housed a king size bed and a whirlpool tub. The place had two bathrooms as well. It was also equipped with high speed internet, which helped out immensely with Bryan's job hunting, since we'd brought the laptop. The dining room table was glass, which made me glad that we didn't bring any young children. There was a TV in the living room, master bedroom, and second bedroom. It was absolutely gorgeous. We lived better there that week than we do here at home!

Most of the rest of that week was spent doing Bryan's job hunting. We drove through the industrial areas and stopped by several places so that he could drop resumes, and got a couple leads from that. We went to a property management office with which I'd done business before and got a short list of (3) housing options to look at. The first one we turned down immediately, bad looking neighborhood, not so great looking house, too much money for what was there (or not there). The second one was an apartment. The worst thing about it was that there was very little place to let Sabre out. He wouldn't have been able to get any exercise at all, since it was right off a main road. The third place we liked from the start. It was a cute little three bedroom house. I didn't care for the barn red color on the outside, but it looked nice and had a fenced backyard, perfect for Sabre. We got to take a tour with the tenant, who was in the process of moving out. She told us she'd lived there for two years, and loved the place. She was moving because they'd found a bigger place in the country with some land for their horses. The only thing about the place that we would have liked to have was for it to be in a more secluded area. But it's in a quiet neighborhood, from what the tenant said, and well off the main roads. Nearly everything in it was no more than two years old, including the carpet and appliances. It needed a couple of small repairs, but otherwise, it was perfect. We told the management that we wanted it. The only hangup they had was that we didn't want to move in until August. But they took a deposit check, and said they'd only cash it if the owner changed his mind about waiting to see if another person wanted to move in sooner. The guy we worked with at the office actually called us yesterday to let us know that the owner was replacing the carpet in one of the bedrooms. He said he'd call once a week to let us know how or if things were progressing with the owner of the house. How awesome is that???!!!

So the house hunt went well. Unfortunately, Bryan's job hunt didn't go quite as well. He didn't pass part of the physical test for the Highway Patrol, so he's out of the running until next year. He plans to try again, but it put him down in the dumps for a while. He went to a job fair about an hour and a half away from where we will be living, but no one had any leads for our area. We found several jobs for which he was well qualified, but it never got any farther than putting in applications. Of course, now that we're back home, he is unable to do face-to-face interviews. But he's planning to put his resume up on websites like Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com. I may have to remind him to do it, though. We've been home for a week, and he hasn't yet. We'll see.

As far as pregnancy stuff, since that's what this blog is supposed to be about... My feet swelled to scary proportions on the trip there. Elevating them didn't do much, so we went out and bought support hose and tube socks. They helped tremendously. I also made myself get out of the car more often when Bryan did, since I'd sit in the car when he would go into places to drop off resumes. So my feet went back to their normal size, though my legs itched like crazy from the pantyhose. I did get to go swimming on our last day at the resort. I'd gone out and bought a cute maternity swimsuit just for the trip, since I knew we were going to have an indoor pool. Unfortunately it doesn't hide much of my stretch marks, since they're all on my thighs and hips. But I didn't care. I got to go swimming! An unfortunate side effect of my daily routine changing was that I didn't take my vitamins and iron pills like I should have, and I didn't stay hydrated like I should have. I ate okay, not as much as I do at home, but I think that was a good thing. On our way back, though, I had to force myself to eat. I didn't want to eat anything, even when I was starving, absolutely nothing sounded good. But I made myself eat. Luckily doing that didn't make me sick. I think I was getting depressed about going back home. It was so nice being back in Missouri, where things move at a slower pace, and the people are so much more considerate. I felt the change in my attitude when we got back. Our neighbors wanted to socialize a lot, since it'd been a while, our cat stayed glued to us nearly all of the first day we were back, and I wanted nothing to do with any of it. When I told Bryan how I was feeling, he said I masked it well, which made me happy. I wanted him to know that it wasn't directed toward him at all, I just didn't think I really wanted to be back home. It's nice because I have all my comforts nearby, but being away was such a nice change. I'm better now, though.

Well, that's about all for the trip update. I'll try to get a couple of pictures taken tonight or tomorrow and get them posted, so check back in a week. I might even get one of me in my sexy maternity swimsuit! :)

I'm going to start a new post to talk about what's been going on the last few days, so my readers can take a break. I know I tend to write mini-novels in these things. TTFN!!!

Ugh, the Aches and Pains of Pregnancy

Here we are, a little over 30 weeks along. If we go by months, I have two months and six days left. It doesn't seem like it should be coming up so fast. Less than ten weeks left! I haven't really thought much about labor itself, no need to stress over something I can't control. I guess the pain would be the only horrible part aside from any complications that might arise. And boy, is my body already trying to prepare me for the pain part! Starting on Wednesday, my mid to upper back on my right side started hurting. I'd felt this pain before, it's ligament pain as my uterus and other organs pull on the supporting ligaments and stretch them out. So I learned what certain movements to avoid, certain ways of bending down to do things like flush the toilet, or open the bunny's cage. Even so, there were certain times I just couldn't avoid the pain. It feels like someone is digging their finger into this one certain spot on my back when it happens, not a pleasant experience at all. But, since I could avoid making it hurt for the most part, I was okay. I slept on my left side that night, to support my belly and take some of the pressure off that ligament in my back. But the next day, the cramps started. Wednesday night, I got a little taste of them, but it was gas pain, and was relieved quickly once I let the gas out. But when it started again Thursday, it didn't go away, even after a bowel movement. But it was tolerable, if very annoying. I laid on the couch most of the day, reading. In that position, my back didn't hurt much at all. There wasn't anything I could do for the cramps except ignore them. Friday was worse. The cramps started right when I woke up, even though the back pain was lessened. I also had an earache from sleeping on my left side. I took care of the earache easily, popping my ear. But as the day wore on, the back pain got worse, and so did the cramps. Junior's moving around tended to make the cramping worse. Again, a bowel movement didn't make it go away. I took some Tylenol, but it didn't help. By 3:00pm, I couldn't take it anymore. The constant, neverending pain was starting to get to me mentally. I took my next dose of Tylenol and went upstairs to bed. And I could not get comfortable. Lying with my back straight helped the back pain, but lying in the fetal position helped the cramping. Finally, I found a position on my side that seemed to relieve both pains sufficiently. And then the heartburn started. Lying in that position loosened the valve at my stomach. I ended up in tears, simply because I was so tired of being in pain. The Tylenol wasn't kicking in, and it was too late in the afternoon to go to the doctor. I was so so miserable. I had gotten so stressed that I triggered Braxton-Hicks contractions. Parts of my uterus tightened up, and stayed that way for several minutes. It didn't hurt, but it kept Junior from moving, so I finally made myself relax. I laid there for half an hour before the Tylenol set in. And I still had heartburn. So I took some Tums, and finally slept. I woke up when the phone rang, and Bryan came up to see me after he finished talking to the caller. He brought me a bottle of water and a puzzle book, and sat with me a while. I laid there listening to the news on TV for a while, working on a puzzle. Bryan came upstairs again a little while later to tell me to let him know when I got hungry for dinner, and he'd bring me something. I decided that I could attain this comfortable position on the couch, I wanted to be a part of the world, not stuck upstairs in bed. So I went downstairs with my giant pillow and watched television. Bryan went out and picked up Burger King for dinner, since there was no way I was cooking that night. We watched a movie while we ate, and then I watched TV until 1:30am, when we both went to bed. At least I'd found a decently comfortable position in which to sleep. This morning seems better. I didn't wake up with pain, and thought maybe I was going to have a pain-free day. Nope, my back's still acting up. But at least I can avoid making it hurt. I might look a little funny bending over at times, but if I can keep the pain at bay, I'm gonna!

In other news, totally unrelated, IT'S SNOWING!!! We didn't even have a white Christmas this past year, and here it is, April 7th, and it's snowing! It's a kind of snow-rain mix off and on, but the snow's been steadily coming down. It's already covered the roofs of the cars outside, and it's starting to accumulate on the ground. It's so crazy! I am not stepping foot outside if I can help it. If there's snow and rain, there's bound to be ice, and there's no way I'm risking a fall right now.

Good news, I'm over the depression. After we found out that the baby is a boy, I started getting depressed. I don't really know why, since having a boy first is what we both wanted. I think my biggest fear was being left out, mostly by my own hand, when he's first born. I was afraid of that carrying over into later years, when he'd have more in common with Bryan once he wasn't so dependent on me. I can see myself letting Bryan do everything he can with the baby aside from breastfeeding, just so he didn't feel left out, to my own exclusion. But if this baby had been a girl, I would have taken over more as she got older, just because she's a girl and so am I. But being a boy, Bryan would be the one to wrestle with him, and do the boy stuff. But I talked it out with Bryan, and then my mom, and realized that I did a lot of the boy stuff with Alexander, there is no reason why I can't join in on the fun. Of course, Junior and Bryan will have to have their father-son time, too, but I can handle that. And shopping helped. I made myself buy clothes for him, and when I went with Sam to her ultrasound, I stopped by the hospital gift shop and picked up a little cap for him that said "Boob Man" and booties that said "Daddy's Little Boy." That seemed to help. But I'm totally over the depression now, which is awesome. I don't want to have to go back on antidepressants if I don't have to.

I never did get an email back from TriCare, so I called them to ask about getting their authorization to travel. They had no idea what I was talking about. When I explained what was going on, I was told that authorization isn't something I request. My primary care manager had to submit a form for something like that. But authorization wasn't needed in my case. I needed my PCM to refer me to an OB in the area. If I needed urgent care, I just needed to call my clinic to get authorization before I'm seen, and if there's an emergency, I have to notify them within 24 hours. So next week, I'm going to see my PCM to talk about that. I'm going Monday morning, because this trip's coming up fast, and I want to make sure I have all my bases covered.

Anyway, that's about it for this update. Sorry for all the complaining about my pain, but that's what's going on with me. That was almost all I could think about yesterday.

TTFN!!!

28-Week Checkup

Not much to tell here, this appointment took less than fifteen minutes. She acknowledged that I'm gaining weight, which is a good thing. She asked about my asthma, which has been inactive for years, and about my depression, which has reared its ugly head this last week. She measured my uterus, but didn't tell me the measurement. She found the baby's heartbeat with no problem, and it was in the 140s, which is what it was on the 20th. We talked about traveling, since the cutoff for my insurance is 34 weeks. The trip Bryan and I have planned puts me back home at 34 weeks and 4 days, so I've got to contact the insurance company about getting authorization for that. But the nurse said she'd be willing to write a letter attesting to the fact that I am not showing any risk factors for early delivery, and she also mentioned that it might be good for my depression to get home and see everyone. So I emailed my insurance company when I got home, and am just waiting for word back now. I mentioned the pain in my upper abdomen, and she started talking about pre-eclampsia, because right upper quadrant pain is one symptom of it. She did say that I'm not showing any signs of it, I'm not swelling majorly anywhere, and my blood pressure is low, where high blood pressure would be a worrisome symptom. But she gave me a pamphlet on high blood pressure anyway. We managed to get a lot done in the ten or so minutes I was in there. I went to the appointment desk and made my next appointment for April 20th, which would be the day before Bryan and I are supposed to leave for our trip home. That is 32 weeks and 2 days along at that appointment. So we'll see. I really don't want to be stuck at home if they don't clear me for travel... I really want to go home and see some of my family and friends. We'll see, though. It all depends on Tricare. Yay...

TTFN!!!

The Baby isn't Just "The Baby" Anymore!

First, I have to tell you about my last doctor's visit. I had been having this pain in my upper abdomen, just under my right breast. It felt like a bruise, but it didn't go away for over a week, and there was no discoloration. So I decided to make an appointment on March 14th with my primary care doctor, and see what was going on. I mentioned it to the last doctor I saw, in Women's Health, but she dismissed it as likely being bowel pain. That didn't sit right with me. So I went in, and my doctor palpated the area and said that she thought I might have a small hernia. She said that it could be caused by my uterus pushing my intestines up against my ribs, and that as my uterus continues to get bigger, it could shift and go away. But if it doesn't, I'm to let the clinic know. I also asked her about my iron pills. The box says to take one, but the doctor in WH told me to take three. I asked my primary care doctor if that was entirely necessary. She asked me how anemic I was, and when I didn't know, she checked out my numbers in the computer. They were 10 and 29. I don't know exactly what they mean, but the first number is supposed to be 12 or over, and the second 37 or above. So she said I should indeed be taking three. I told her about the scheduling conflicts with them. I can't lie down within 30 minutes of taking one, and I have to take it one hour before or two hours after eating. I'm hungry every two hours, not three. But she told me to ignore those directives and just to take it when I can. If they bother my stomach too much, then we could try something different. She also told me that if my heartburn got intolerable, to come back in, and she would put me on Zantac to help. So far, Tums have been wonderful. So that was fun. But I really like my primary care doctor. I hope our baby can be seen by someone in that clinic, because everyone there is so nice.

Speaking of our baby, we had our ultrasound this morning. The nurse at my 24-week class scheduled it because of my asthma (lovely excuse :) ). But the day started out horribly. I'm working a different schedule now because Julie's dad got fired from his department, and is now on call to take over gaps in other shifts. But he's had this class he's had to go to the last two days, and I have to be at work at 7:00am. So I woke up at 6:00 this morning to take a shower, and I was in immediate, constant pain. I felt horribly constipated. I'd been having an average of one to two bowel movements per day, so I didn't think that was the case, but that's surely what it felt like. It lasted all through my shower, and got to the point I could barely stand up straight. I made it to work, managed to get Julie up and dressed, but that was it. The pain got so bad I was in tears. Thank God I had made plans with Sam for her to pick Bryan up when she got off work. I couldn't have gotten Julie into the car without doubling over in pain. I took some Tylenol as soon as I got home, but it didn't kick in until we were over halfway to the hospital. I told Bryan that if it continued through the ultrasound, I was going to Women's Health afterward. I managed to get through the ultrasound pain-free (Thank You God). We got to see so much of the environment our little one is living in. The head was way down into my pelvis, and the legs and knees were up around my belly button. The tech took measurements of nearly everything. She measured the circumference of the head, the length of the arms and legs, and marked various different parts of the brain. We had told her at the beginning that, if possible, we would love to know the gender of the baby. According to the instructions we were given, she wasn't able to tell us much of anything, and we weren't going to be given any pictures. But she talked us through nearly everything, including measuring the amount of amniotic fluid in the placenta. She also got a very good picture of the baby's behind and genitals....

IT'S A BOY!!!

We were ecstatic! I couldn't show it much, because I was starting to feel in pain again. But Bryan was grinning from ear to ear. I went to the bathroom, and then we went back into the exam room to wait for the radiologist. While we were waiting, Bryan told me that he thought he would like to change the boy's name we had picked out. We had settled on Thomas Jennings, or T.J., very early on, but Bryan was wanting some way to factor in his stepdad's name. Randy has been nearly, if not as good of a father to Bryan as his dad, Jennings, and Bryan wanted to honor that. So he suggested the name Jennings Randall, J.R. for short, instead. I had put that suggestion out there, but he didn't like it at first. I guess it grew on him. He talked like he was going to want to talk about changing the girl's name, too, but that's not a factor anymore. I told him that name was fine by me. We started making phone calls as soon as we got out of the hospital. Now my mom can go shopping for the baby. She'd been bugging me about it for a week or so, complaining that she could only buy white stuff until we found out. But, the tech gave us pictures of the baby's face and genitalia. Here they are!!! (Along with pictures of me and my big ol' belly.

(Doesn't he look scary?)

(Sorry I look so upset.

I really didn't feel good.)

Not Much Going On...

I don't really have much to tell with this post, which is a blessing all in itself. Baby's been moving pretty regularly, liking to hang out right on top of my bladder. I think I've actually been experiencing my first Braxton-Hicks contractions. I'll feel my uterus tightening up about once an hour during the evening. It's a very strange feeling. I've also been getting a lot of back and rib pain. Most people think it's because the baby is up there, but it only heads that direction when I'm lying flat on my back. My theory is that I'm feeling all that pain because of the lack of real estate in my abdomen these days. Everything's jockeying for the most amount of space, and it's all pushing up on my diaphragm. It feels like I constantly need to pop my back, but doing so is usually fruitless. Tylenol doesn't even work. I've finally found a comfortable position to lie in on the couch that lessens it considerably. It seems to be the worst when I'm standing up or walking. So my second theory is that the round ligaments that are attached to my uterus are pulling on my ribs and back. I'm not sure. All I know is that it hurts, and I've been driving Bryan crazy complaining about it. But I've got to go pick him up from work now, so TTFN!!!

Update: 2 Days Later...

The morning after I wrote this post, I weighed myself like I do every three or four days. I always weigh myself right after I use the bathroom in the morning, and in the buff at that, so that I get a relatively accurate view of how I'm gaining. Last Sunday I weighed 143lbs. Friday morning, right after I wrote the first part of this post, I weighed 148lbs. That's gaining five pounds in five days. Not normal, especially when I'd been gaining a max of 2 pounds a week up until that point. So I called the Women's Health nurses' line at my hospital to ask about it, but I could never get through. Then I called Bryan to tell him I wanted him to come home; we were going to go in to Women's Health to ask about this. I was fearing pre-eclampsia/toxemia, both of which can cause the placenta to separate from the uterus, or deprive the baby of oxygen if my blood pressure gets too high. So I took my blood pressure on the BP monitor we have at home. it was fine. It was more elevated than it has been lately, but nowhere near anything to worry about. And my hands were swollen. I looked back on my daily habits from the last week, and decided there was nothing that could explain the sudden weight gain. I hadn't been constipated. Monday night, I had dealt with a bout of diarrhea after some pretty crazy cramps. But since then, I'd been regular. And I hadn't just eaten a huge meal the night before. So Bryan and I went to the hospital. Walking into Women's Health, we noticed a sign saying they had "downtime" on Friday mornings and didn't open until 9:00am; that's why I couldn't get through to them at 8:00 or 8:30 when I called. But I filled out the form to let them know what was going on with me, and the nurse came out to talk to me. She covered everything except the issues I was there for: the weight gain and the swelling. When Bryan mentioned this, she said that's not covered on a walk-in basis, that's for an appointment to deal with. So she made me an appointment for Monday morning. That was the only fruitful part of the trip up there. She refused to even mention the weight gain or the swelling in my hands. I walked out of there so frustrated I nearly cried. We made our phone calls to tell everyone what had happened. I had called the parents I babysit for to let them know I may not be able to work, so I had to call them to let them know how it went. I had also called my mom to see if she knew of any family history of pre-eclampsia, since that's a risk factor, so I called her back to let her know that I learned absolutely nothing. But it also turns out that I may not have anything to show the doctor when I go in on Monday. This morning I weighed 145lbs. I lost three pounds in a day. So we'll see what happens. Yesterday was just so frustrating. I'll update again on Monday, after I see the doctor.

Update: After Doctor's Visit

I almost forgot to do this, my friend Lindsay asked me what happened, and reminded me that I hadn't updated like I was supposed to... Sorry!!!

Anyway, apparently the reason for my appointment wasn't put in for the doctor, because I had to inform her why we made the appointment to start with. But, lemme start from the beginning. That morning, I woke up with some pain in my lower abdomen. Not cramping, really, but not bowel pain either. And I've had this spot on my belly at the top of my uterus that has been hurting like it's bruised, but there's nothing visible. To add to my distress for that morning, I wasn't feeling baby moving. Usually the baby is moving around within minutes of my getting up, but that wasn't the case yesterday morning. Finally, after I was up for an hour, baby finally started moving. I did the kick count, and reached 10 movements within 20 minutes, probably making up for lost time. So that relieved that part of my anxiety. We went to the doctor, and she was really hard to understand. She had a really thick accent that I couldn't decipher at first. But she measured my uterus, which measured 26cm, right on target. Then she listened for the baby's heartbeat, which was between 137 and 142 (right in boy range, according to the old wives' tales). She told me that she thought the pain I was feeling was from ligaments, which didn't make sense, but she seemed to have as difficult of a time understanding me as I did her, so I didn't press it. I told her about the weight gain, but she told me that my weight was on target now, and my blood pressure was nowhere near a worrisome measurement (111/66, pulse 82), so it was likely just retaining water for some reason. She told me that was very common in the third trimester, and unless it had stayed that way (I lost three of those five pounds) and my blood pressure started rising, it wasn't really cause for concern. She did inform me that I was anemic (not that it was any surprise to anyone, I've been anemic most of my life) and prescribed an iron supplement. She had to look up the results of my glucose test, but it was 110, which was perfectly fine. Apparently over 130 is cause for concern. She said it was good to be anxious, and to know when things aren't right. She reiterated the reasons to come in, (bleeding, contractions more than 6/hour, no fetal movement) which I had heard SO many times already. But I'll know for next time... walking into Women's Health is useless, and making a doctor's appointment is almost as fruitless. I'll just have to make sure I'm able to call the nurse's line, knowing about their "downtime" on Friday mornings. That might actually give me more answers than going into the clinic.

I tell you what, though, I am already hating these iron supplements. I've felt bowel pain nearly all day today. The directions on the box say to take one a day, but my directions are to take three a day. It should be interesting, since I have to time it around eating and sleeping. I can't do either within an hour each direction of taking a pill. So we'll see.

Anyway, it's bedtime. Poor Bryan, he's feeling terrible today. He's caught my upper respiratory infection, and it's really bothering him. And my abdominal pain's not made me the greatest of company either, so it's been an interesting day. Not so great. But anyway, off to bed with me. I still need to shower.

TTFN!!!

My 24-week Group Appointment

I just got back from my 24-week group appointment at the hospital. Almost all of my other appointments at Women's Health have been group appointments, so this was nothing new. It was a different provider, though. The lady who directed my 18-week group class was a CNM, Certified Nurse Midwife, who worked up in Labor and Delivery. The lady who did this one was a Nurse Practitioner, who does not work up in Labor and Delivery. She does the prenatal and postnatal stuff. But she was nice, talked really fast, but got everything done, and managed to get through everything she needed to talk to us about. Bryan didn't get to go with me to this one. He was off work almost all of last week, so he didn't get the chance to tell his superiors that he needed the morning off for this appointment. But he'd been to my other two group appointments, so he knew what was going to happen. The only things I was worried about happening without him were another ultrasound and getting the results of my Maternal Analyte Screening. But I didn't get an ultrasound, and all my test results came back normal. I felt SO left out, ALL of the other women there knew the gender of their babies (ALL boys), and I had no idea. But it was the first for every one of us. When I went in for my individual exam, I asked the NP about symptoms of anemia, and she told me that the symptoms I'd been feeling were more likely attributed to low blood pressure, and were fine. If they really bothered me, I could increase my fluid intake. I have been told that SO many times now, increase your fluids because you're pregnant, increase your fluids to raise your blood pressure. I can't drink the amount of water they want me to in a day, it's nearly impossible!!! I also asked her about traveling. Bryan and I are planning a trip to Missouri in April to go job and house hunting, and I needed to know the cutoff for those kinds of trips. She told me that 34 weeks was the latest I should be traveling, because after that, they worry about going into preterm labor. So we may have to work around that. I'm supposed to be back by May, and the trip we were looking at taking would have us back home May 5th. So we'll see. I also asked her about fetal kick counts, and when we should be doing them. She said she'd address that with the group, and when she did, she told us that we would begin to notice a pattern in baby's movements. If baby doesn't move when we think it should be, then do a fetal kick count and document how many movements occur within an hour. If it's less than five, then continue counting for another hour. There should be 10 movements in a 2-hour period. If there isn't then we're supposed to call the clinic. I've already started noticing a pattern in baby's movements. I'll usually feel quite a bit of movement every two hours, starting at about 8:30 in the morning. But she said that we should definitely feel movement every day. If any day goes by without feeling any fetal movement, then call the clinic first thing the next morning. I didn't have to worry about that, baby was kicking halfway through the discussion! I guess decreased fetal movement would be a good reason for an ultrasound, hehehe. When I went in for my exam, the NP told me that I didn't have to worry about getting an ultrasound from a civilian practice, that because of my asthma, she had sufficient reason to order one for me, YAY!!! This time, the ultrasound is being done by radiology, not in the Women's Health clinic, so it may be a longer one, and I really really hope they'll be able to see the gender. My ultrasound is scheduled for the morning of March 20th. I have to wait a month, but I've been waiting longer than that already, so I can wait until then. At least I know I'm getting one. The week after that, I'm going in for a 28-week appointment. I don't know if it's a group appointment or not, but it's with the same person. Hopefully, I'll be able to let her know the gender at that point. Two of the other women in the class had gone to an imaging facility to find out the gender of their babies. If this ultrasound doesn't tell us the gender, that's probably what we're going to do. I'm tired of waiting. I want to give this poor child a name, and I want to be able to go shopping for clothes! We want to know by our April trip, because that will be when Bryan's parents have the chance to do the whole baby shower thing. My mom and dad live in other states, so they will have to wait until they get here to do that, or order stuff online and have it shipped to us. I still plan to have two showers, one with Bryan's parents and our friends back home, and one here for the few people I know around here. I'm still trying to figure out the locale for the first shower. Both his parents live out in the middle of the country, so I might try to find someplace in town that's neutral and would make it easier for everyone to get to. One of my friends here has already offered the use of her house for the baby shower, so that's taken care of. But anyway, that's pretty much the most of what happened at today's appointment. Gotta head to work in a few minutes, so I'll update again after March 20th!

TTFN!!!

Casualties of Pregnancy

I know, I know, odd title for a post, but that was one of the first pregnancy-related thoughts I had this morning when I woke up. I was trying to decide what I wanted to wear today, and I thought of a green shirt I have. It zips up the front, and has a hood and tiny little pockets. I usually wear it with a white cami. I have one white cami (out of four) that still fits okay, without riding up and showing my belly. I thought of my green overshirt and dug it out. It's cold out now (it snowed pretty well yesterday), so I don't wear too many short sleeves. Anyway, I put it on... and it's too short now. It only reaches just below my belly button. My undershirt would have shown about three inches at the bottom. So, with a great sigh (I really like that shirt), I put it away, thinking, "Yet another casualty of pregnancy..." Hence the title. Many of my clothes have become casualties of pregnancy. First went the pants. At three months along, I found myself down to three pairs of normal pants that fit. At four months, I was down to two, and they were tight. I now have three pairs of maternity pants, only two that I actually wear on a regular basis. I have also had to retire my pre-pregnancy bras for now, in favor of two that are one cup size up from before. And those are starting to get tight. Now I'm starting to lose the ability to wear many of my shirts. T-shirts have become a staple. Many of my button-up shirts I still wear, but I can only button to just below my breasts. So I wear camisoles (spaghetti-strap tank tops) under those, and only button one button. It shows off my belly and my big breasts, heh hehe hehe. It's funny, though, I'm big enough to be showing and losing the ability to wear a lot of my clothes, but I'm not big enough to be able to wear most maternity shirts without them looking funny. I'm just glad I am past the point where I'm almost showing, not enough for anyone who doesn't know me to be able to tell. I can still hide it if I want to, but who wants to do that??? I'm starting to show even through T-shirts. But when I wear clothes that hug my curves, it's obvious. I am just now to the point where my belly sticks out farther than my breasts. My neighbor Sam and I are planning to go clothes shopping soon, she's pregnant, and just starting to show. But she's having such an issue with nausea and food aversions, she's actually losing weight. So far, it's not been a big deal, her baby's still doing just fine, and she's a little overweight, so no one's too worried, except her, of course. But anyway, I might buy another maternity shirt, but I'm more in the market for pants at this point. One of my neighbors gave me a bunch of maternity clothes, but many of them aren't my style and/or are too big. She's a medium, I'm a small, and Sam's a large. I'm thinking about asking one of our other neighbors if she wants them, she's closer to Ashley's size than either Sam or me.

Bryan's mom gave us our first baby present yesterday. She sent us a box with various things in it, some paperwork we needed for the truck, What to Expect the First Year book, since I already have the Expecting one, the What to Expect Pregnancy Journal, a Sudoku calendar for Bryan, and a Tigger toy for the baby. It's meant to go on carrier handles and such. It's really cute, got a couple of hanging bugs that crinkle when you squeeze them, and a little mirror for the baby to see him/herself in. I told Bryan that it's official now, this baby's a Tigger baby!!! I already have a small quilt that was made for me with Tigger on it. And of course, I have SO many stuffed Tiggers, it's not even funny. Even a giant one that sits two to three feet tall. So we've already got some decorations for the baby's room once we get moved.

I started the process of getting back into college this week. I filled out the FAFSA, the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, and applied for re-enrollment into the University of Missouri-Columbia. I don't know how many classes I'm going to be taking yet, since I have to go back through and figure out what exactly I need to take and what's offered in the different semesters. Last I knew, I technically only need one semester's worth of credits, but because of when certain classes were offered, it was going to take me two semesters to get them. I also checked into child care offered on campus. There are two options, one caters to the entire community and serves as a learning center for students majoring in Early Childhood Education and the like, and the other caters strictly to student parents. The first one, CDL, only takes 7 infants at a time, but the fees are really good. I don't know what the age diversity is for the second one, but that one costs significantly more than the CDL. I have a better chance of getting the baby into the Student Parent Center simply because it only takes children of MU students, where the CDL takes children from all over Columbia. But from the respective websites of the two child care centers, the CDL just sounds better to me, aside from the very reasonable costs.

In other news, Bryan finally got to feel the baby kick! It's still hard for him to distinguish between our respective heartbeats and the baby's movements, since his hands are so work-roughened, but he did finally get to feel some pretty vigorous movements the other day. Since about a week and a half ago, it seems that I've felt movement pretty much every day. Some days, it's only just a little when I lie down to sleep at night, but lately, baby's been moving a lot more during the day. I'm also starting to feel movement in my upper uterus, where before, it was mainly in the lowest part of it. It was funny, last night, Bryan had his head in my lap watching TV, and his head was resting against my belly. Baby kept kicking at the spot where Bryan's head was. Bryan didn't feel it, but I just started laughing. When I told him what was happening, Bryan looked at my belly and gave the baby his mean face. It was quite humorous.

More and more I'm finding that I am incredibly blessed when it comes to this pregnancy. I hear so much about all these discomforts women have, even into the second trimester, and I've had very little of any of it. I never had morning sickness very badly, only vomited once because of it. I never had a great deal of cramping. I only had one issue with bleeding, and we knew what caused that. The fatigue I felt in the first trimester was tolerable, since I wasn't working. None of my cravings have been overly strange or ill-timed, except for wanting ice cream at 8pm on Christmas Eve. I don't seem to have any food aversions now. My appetite is good, my blood pressure's okay, my hormones aren't messing with my emotions too much now. The only real complaint I have that is pregnancy-related is the incessant nasal congestion. I have to wear Breathe-Right strips to bed so I can sleep. Some nights that doesn't even work. but God has most certainly smiled on this pregnancy. The thought has crossed my mind that all that bad stuff is just biding its time, waiting for the third trimester, or, Heaven forbid, labor and delivery. But I don't dwell on that, perish the thought. I am just enjoying having this pregnancy going without a hitch. It's incredible!

Well, I'm going to save this and switch computers so I can upload a picture or two. Since we upgraded our desktop, my Kodak software is no longer compatible, so I have to use the laptop to add pictures from our digital camera. Fun, fun.

TTFN!!! (hee hee, also a Tigger thing: Ta Ta For Now)

Lots of Moving!!!

Hello all! I've discovered that not too many people read my weblog, so I'm going to start copying what I post and pasting into an email message for most of my family. But I'm not going to quit posting, I know that several people do come visit the site.

Anyway, not too much going on these days, just lots of stuffy noses, and less sleeping because of it. This nasal congestion is the worst part of this pregnancy for me. It set in right after we found out we were pregnant, and has been a daily thing so far. It would wake me up at night, because I had to breathe through my nose. That would make me dehydrated and the discomfort of a dry mouth and tongue would wake me at 3:00am. Then of course I'd get hungry and have to eat a granola bar before going back to bed. I tried all kinds of different sleeping positions, but nothing helped. I finally bought some Breathe Right strips, and they have helped immensely. Even though it's better not to, I have to sleep on my back to breathe the best, but so far, that's not caused any problems. Some days, though, I still wake up dehydrated and have issues breathing during the day. Yesterday was one of those days. I just felt like I could not get enough oxygen, even breathing through my mouth. I got out of the house, and the cool air helped, along with the bottle of water that is never far away. Trying to drink the amount they say I'm supposed to is a daily battle.

It seems like that is the only pregnancy discomfort I've been experiencing. I'm not constipated, like a lot of women get. I can eat anything I want, as long as I eat small meals throughout the day. Smells get to me more than usual, but I've always had a sensitive nose. I'm not nauseous since the first trimester, and even that wasn't very bad. I do find myself going to the bathroom more often, but that can't be avoided, even in the best pregnancy. Plus, all the extra water I have to drink helps with that detail.

This has been a nearly uneventful pregnancy for us. All of our tests so far have come out great, no problems. I even had an early glucose screen because of the family history of diabetes, and that was fine. The baby seems to be growing okay. I did have to go to Urgent Care because of a pain I was experiencing, I was worried it might be appendicitis. But the doctor told me it was likely just a bowel backup because of the position of my uterus. I've had no problems since. And it makes things seem to be going so incredibly slowly!!!

The only real news I have as I hit the halfway mark (FINALLY!!!) is that I'm feeling baby moving around a lot this last week. I usually only feel it at night, when I'm relaxing in front of the TV and when I'm trying to sleep. Last night I was sitting on the couch, and it felt like baby was doing somersaults in my stomach! Most of the sensations are in my lower abdomen, it feels like baby is punching down at the bottom, trying to make more room. I would feel one movement toward the right, then one in the middle, and one on the left. And the baby is just as vigorous at night when I'm trying to sleep. I have been able to feel the movements with my hand over the right area, but Bryan's hands aren't quite as sensitive, and he hasn't been able to feel it. He doesn't seem too upset by it, though, he knows he'll be able to feel more once baby gets bigger.

We're hoping to be able to find out the gender soon, but we don't know if that will happen or not. Military insurance only pays for ultrasounds when there is a medical necessity for one. Finding out the gender does not qualify. We go back for our 24-week visit on February 20th, but I imagine we will only get an ultrasound if the heartbeat can't be detected with the Doppler machine again. If we don't find out by the end of March, we may go to a local college and pay for one to find out the gender. Baby showers are going to be held in April and May, and we really want to know. I want so badly to give this child a name. It seems so impersonal calling the baby an "it," and I feel I'm not as attached to it as I would be if I could call it T.J. or Aurora. Plus, I want to be able to walk into the newborn clothing and imagine what a certain outfit would look like on this baby. It's really difficult not knowing right now.

Anyway, I guess that's all for this update. I know some of this is repetition for a few people, but I felt it might be good to have a synopsis as I reach the halfway point.

TTFN!!!

Baby Won't Show Off!!!

To start out, let me tell you what's been going on the last two weeks. First, I went back to babysitting full time. Julie's dad started his new job on the third, so I worked that day and the rest of the week. She is most assuredly a totally different kid than the one I was seeing three months ago. Granted, I'd been watching her here and there all three months, but it wasn't all day. I go to work at 5:00am, she gets up around 7:00am, and her dad comes home around 2:00pm. It's not a horribly long day, but she's not used to my rules anymore. And I certainly am not used to how she likes things either. Her food tastes have changed, her routine has changed, and I wasn't ready for that. Plus, it was a spur of the moment, can you be here tomorrow kind of start. So I didn't get a good briefing on nearly anything. By Friday afternoon, I was in tears, at the end of my rope. I realized my depression was not as gone as I had thought. Stress triggers it, and a little girl in the throes of the terrible twos is quite the stressor. I called Bryan to talk to him about going back on antidepressants. I told him I felt my only two choices were going back on meds or quitting. Something had to give somewhere, I just couldn't handle it. But I felt he needed to know what was going on so he could decide whether he felt it was worth the risk to the baby to have me back on medication. He asked me what I wanted, and I truly didn't know. I didn't want to put her parents in a bind by saying I couldn't do it, and I didn't know where I stood on the issue of medication and this baby. But Julie didn't deserve what I was doing to her. I was getting onto her for every little infraction, and I had changed so much of what she had gotten used to with her dad being home. I had a long talk with her mom when she got home, and we sat down and worked out a new routine for Julie and me to follow. It incorporated much of what I used to do with her, and also allowed for some of the things she was accustomed to being allowed to do with her dad. I decided to wait a couple more weeks, implement the new routine, and see where things stand after this transition period. If I'm still having trouble, I'll make an appointment with the doctor and look into getting back on low dose antidepressants. I'm just hoping that her dad will stick to the routine. He has a bad habit of ignoring the rules that Julie's mom and I set for her and doing things his own way. It's been two weeks now, and things have settled down considerably. But, Julie's dad threw another wrench in things yesterday, the 17th. He changed his work schedule. Instead of me going to work at 5:00am and working until he comes home, I am now going to work at 12:30pm until her mom comes home. I'm going from nine hours a day to three or four. I don't mind, it just seemed like we had finally gotten things under control, Julie and I were having a good time during the day, getting used to our routines. But, at least I can sleep in again.

We went for our 18-week group class at the hospital on January 8th.. It wasn't nearly as long as the 6-8 week class. First, we weighed and took blood pressures, then we each went into the exam room for individual sessions. The midwife asked if we had any concerns, I mentioned that I'd been having lower abdominal pain. She had me lie back on the exam table so she could try to find the heartbeat. As she searched with the device, she explained some of the things I can do to combat constipation, which was my assumption on the cause of the pain. She couldn't find the heartbeat, so she told us to stick around after the class was over, and she'd do an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. Then she asked me about my depression. I told her about going back to work and the problems with Julie, the lack of consistency. She told us about some of the problems and risks associated with antidepressants in newborns. I was glad Bryan was there to hear it, because he'd wanted to know more about the discontinuation effects seen in newborns. Apparently there are some withdrawal symptoms, but it's not true withdrawal, since they are never truly addicted. But we talked more about my test results, which came back negative on both the cystic fibrosis carrier screening and the glucose tolerance test. No problems on either front. I was very happy about both of those. Since diabetes runs in our family, and my mom contracted hers while pregnant, I wanted to check. We finished up with the midwife in the exam room, and took our seats in the classroom. When everyone had their turn, she came out and sat with us to talk about some common concerns we seemed to have. Lower back pain and swelling of the feet and ankles seemed to be on most people's minds. I've been having lower back pain, but no swelling. She also talked about safe medicines we can take for pain (Tylenol, Tylenol, and Tylenol) as well as other ways to combat swelling and back pain. She talked about ultrasounds, and where in the civilian world we can go to get one if we haven't been able to discover the child's gender. Military insurance does not pay for routine ultrasounds, you have to have a valid medical necessity to get an ultrasound done. Not being able to find a heartbeat with the Doppler was a valid medical reason. She also talked about other medical reasons for which you could get an ultrasound at the hospital. We all were asked if we wanted to fill out and sign the form for the Maternal Analyte Serum Test. It is a blood test for neural tube defects such as spina bifida and encephaly, and for Downs Syndrome, and can tell you if your baby might have a condition where its abdominal organs are growing outside the body. She talked about the cutoff date for termination if you find out that your baby will not live outside the womb, but also told us that the hospital does not terminate pregnancies. After that, the class was over. We, of course, didn't leave, because we still had to get our ultrasound to be able to detect the baby's heartbeat. There were two other women who also needed to get ultrasounds for one reason or another. So we got our ultrasound. Bryan got to be here for this one, for which I was very glad. He finally got to see the baby move, and to hear its heartbeat, which was 154 beats per minute. She tried really hard to find the genitals, to be able to tell us the sex of the baby, but baby wouldn't show off to tell us. We knew she couldn't stand there all day, so we were given this picture and sent on our way.

In other baby news, I think we've finally decided on a middle name for the baby if it's a girl. Her name will be Aurora Rachelle. Bryan was against giving her a middle name that started with R-o, because that would almost be like a tongue twister trying to say her whole name. But he's okay with this one, and I love the name. I'm pretty sure we're going to end up having two baby showers, one here for the friends here, and one at home, for the family and friends there. I figured we'd have the one here in March, and the one at home in April. We're planning a trip to Missouri in April to go job- and house-hunting. We're probably going to be there a couple weeks, so it'd be a great time to have a shower. We'll probably end up having it at the restaurant Bryan used to work at. We had our engagement party there, and it's easily accessible to nearly everyone, unlike Bryan's parents' houses. As far as the one here, a friend of mine offered to host it at her house, since they're moving from their apartment the same month. We'll see how it works out. Unfortunately, our apartment is probably too small to have everyone here. Plus, if I can have it somewhere else, Bryan won't feel so overwhelmed by the amount of estrogen floating around. I have to talk to Bryan more about it, but I've been considering pushing back the shower here until May, that way the parents can give their gifts first. I don't know, though, that's getting awfully close to baby's due date. Speaking of the due date, Bryan's still making fun of me about the due date the first ultrasound gave us. He's still telling me that I'm going to have this baby on my birthday. I should tell him that if this baby doesn't come by the fourteenth, I'm going to have them take it by C-section on the fifteenth, just so it's not on my birthday. Exciting news!: I'm feeling baby moving! I mostly feel it at night, when I'm lying on my side, trying to go to sleep. It almost feels like baby's doing jumping jacks on my side. Last night, I could actually feel kicking through my stomach with my hand. Unfortunately, Bryan had already fallen asleep, so he wasn't able to try and feel it too. But it's really exciting! I also had my first experience with someone touching my belly without asking permission. It was kinda strange. We went to our neighbor's house for dinner on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and her mom was there. I sat down next to her, and she patted my belly, talking about how I was showing. I just looked at her, dumbfounded. It was the first time anyone had done that, and I really respect this woman, so I didn't know what to say. I mentioned it to my neighbor, who said that her mom probably didn't think anything of it, and was I offended. I said no, just a little surprised, since it was the first time anyone had done that.

I also have to write about my Urgent Care experience. The night after our group class at the hospital, the lower abdominal pain I had been feeling got pretty severe. Nothing I did would help, changing positions didn't help, and neither did Tylenol. I tried massaging the area, which usually works for me if I'm constipated. But I could barely touch the area. Bryan told me that I was going to the doctor the next day. So the next day, I got online and tried to make an appointment with my primary care manager (PCM), my doctor. There were none available. So I called the appointment line, which didn't have anything either, but I was able to be transferred to the clinic directly. Come to find out, my PCM no longer works at that clinic, and they didn't have anything available with anyone else that day either. I asked to speak to a nurse or physician so I could describe my symptoms. I was worried that I would need to go to Urgent Care. So a Colonel Williams gets on the line, and I say I'm having lower right abdominal pain that has localized into one spot that is painful to touch. I'm not having any bleeding, fevers, or nausea. Colonel Williams tells me to go to Urgent Care, and takes down my information so that it is documented that I called there first. So we went to Urgent Care. Now, my experience with military emergency rooms has always been the "hurry up and wait for three hours" type. But the waiting room only had two people in it. I came in, handed my ID to the guy at the desk, and told him why I was there, including the fact that I was 18 weeks pregnant. Five minutes later, I was back for triage, where they take my vital signs and get more information about my condition. I had to laugh when the gentleman asked for the date of my last period.

"September sixth," I chuckled, "I'm 18 weeks along in my pregnancy."

"I never assume that about anybody," he said. Smart man. Soon another man came in and took over so that he could move on to the next patient. I showed this man where the pain was, and he said that wasn't a good place to be feeling pain. He asked the same questions that the colonel at the clinic had asked, and I answered them: no bleeding, no nausea or vomiting, no fevers, no other symptoms besides the pain. He finished with his paperwork and told me to go take a urine sample. I finished doing that, and brought it back out to him. Twenty minutes later, I was brought to an exam room. A Dr. Flanagan came in and examined my midsection, palpating my uterus to see that it was right where it should be, as big as it should be for my stage of pregnancy. He asked about an ultrasound, I told him I'd just had one done on Monday, two days earlier, and the baby was indeed in my uterus, not in one of my Fallopian tubes. He left to go see if he could get the ultrasound, and while he was gone, a nurse came in to listen for the baby's heartbeat. Unlike two days before, she was able to hear it on the first try. Again, it was 154 bpm. The doctor came back in and asked who had done my ultrasound. He had thought that I had gotten it done at Radiology, when it was Women's Health that had done it. But he told me that he didn't think it was appendicitis, which was my worry, but instead it was likely round ligament pain or constipation. Another nurse came in with my discharge instructions. It turned out I had been diagnosed with Round Ligament Pain, Constipation, and IUP. IUP means Intra-Uterine Pregnancy. The instruction sheet that I was given stated: "It has been determined that you are pregnant." We still laugh at the fact that I was diagnosed with pregnancy at 18 weeks along. But that was my Urgent Care experience. I'm still feeling a little pain in that spot here and there, but not nearly as bad, and I'm not constipated at all anymore. In fact, I'm back to being fairly regular. Anyway, I'll upload the latest ultrasound picture, then I have to take Bryan to work.

TTFN!!!

Our Happy New Year

Well, here it is next year already, gone by so fast, so much has happened: A wedding in April of one of my best friends from high school, our neighbor's little girl turning one, a summer full of babysitting three kids at a time. But the end of the year has brought about so incredibly much for us! We found out we were pregnant, one of our neighbors had a baby, I quit working, another neighbor found out she was pregnant, I got back in touch with my dad, our cat had kittens, not to mention all the pregnancy-related changes for my body and mind, and my relationship with my husband! Since October, there's been a lot going on!

As for New Year's Eve, it went very similar to how it did last year. We had dinner at our neighbor's house, followed by board games and card games until 11:30, when we turned on Dick Clark's New Year's Eve show. The only difference from last year was that this time, there was no alcohol, since both wives are pregnant. It went pretty well, except for the people outside shooting off fireworks and firecrackers, both of which are supposed to be illegal around here. The buildings in this area are too close together to be shooting off fireworks, so much of a fire hazard, it's not even funny.

January 2nd was a very sad day for us, however. We took the kittens to the pet store to find new homes. Our neighbors Mark and Ashley decided they were going to take one for their little 3-year-old girl, so we got to hang onto one little female for a few more hours. But the poor little babies, the other three we put into a soft-sided carrier for the trip to the store. They didn't like being confined. They started crying, and trying to claw their way out. It nearly broke my heart. I tried so hard not to get attached to them and still socialize them. I didn't give them names, which was the biggest part of that, but hearing them cry like that nearly made me break down in tears. But I made it without tearing up. I'd drawn up a document with a picture of each kitten and information on their personalities, along with some information on how they were raised and their development. We also brought along some toys from home, and a bag of the food they'd been eating, to help with the transition. Doing all that made me feel much better about taking them, so I didn't feel like I was just abandoning them. Unfortunately, I didn't escape the night without crying. I started worrying a lot about the fate of the last kitten. Her new family was supposed to go buy supplies for her that day, and take her that night. But they never called to ask what kind of food she ate, if she was on soft or hard food, what kind of toys she liked, etc. We had planned to send some toys with her, but we didn't have any extra food, so to ease my mind, Bryan agreed to go out and buy a bag of her food to send with her. That helped keep the tears at bay. Also helping ease my aching heart was the fact that we were going to tell them that if they had any problems with her at all and decided they couldn't or didn't want to keep her, we would take her back, no questions asked. Both of us forgot to mention that, but I'll see Ashley tomorrow and will tell her.

Some other sad news yesterday: My friend Auvery, who just got married in April, found out she was pregnant in early December. Our friend Christy called me yesterday to tell me that Auvery had miscarried. Apparently there was a chromosomal abnormality with the baby, but her chances for a subsequent full-term pregnancy are still good. The only other good news in that was that she'd only known she was pregnant for three weeks before she miscarried. She was only five weeks along altogether. She found out very quickly about the baby, because she and her husband were trying to get pregnant, and so she was checking for pregnancy around her fertile days.

Today it seems like everyone is sick: The little girl I babysit for has a cold, her mom has head congestion, which I seem to be getting as well, and Bryan has had a headache and slept most of the day. Today was also my first day back at work, which could account for my headache. Since Julie's sick, she's a little more difficult to deal with because she doesn't feel good. Plus, I now have to be at work at 5:00 in the morning. I haven't gotten up that early and stayed up in a very very very long time. I used to get up that early to make lunch for Bryan, but I haven't done that in months, and I always went back to bed after he left for work. I go back to sleep after Jason leaves, but it still takes me a bit to fall back asleep, and Julie wakes up between 6:45 and 7:00am. I'm just going to make sure that I nap when she does, otherwise, this schedule is not going to work out for me very well without sleeping for a few hours when I get home. Bryan's enjoying my discomfort right now, because he's still on holiday leave. He normally gets up about 4:45 to 5:00am every morning for work. He goes back on the 12th, so he doesn't have much more time to sleep in.

As far as my pregnancy goes, I'm finding that my belly gets a little in the way when I bend over. The heartburn's not as constant. I've still got the blasted nasal congestion every morning. And the accompanying sneezes still make my abdomen hurt from round ligaments stretching. But I can feel the bottom and sides of my uterus when I palpate my stomach. That was an interesting discovery I made a few days ago. I still find myself lying on my back to sleep, which isn't supposed to happen after the fourth month is over. It seems to be the only position in which I can breathe. I know here in a month or so, my belly's going to be so heavy that it's going to squeeze my insides if I keep lying like that, but we'll have to see what happens. I'll improvise if I need to. My last resort is sleeping on the couch propped up by pillows. I don't want to do that to Bryan.

We also added a couple more things to our baby registry the other day. We realized just how much we really couldn't add until we find out the gender. So we've only been able to add furniture and various unisex or non-gender specific items for now. We'll probably add more once we know whether the baby's a boy or a girl.

I had a baby dream the other night. I hadn't really had any since we first found out about the pregnancy. Bryan asked me if the baby in my dream was a boy or a girl, and I told him I didn't know. I thought it was a girl, but I wasn't sure at all. All of my dreams in the beginning were of boys. They were never babies, always toddlers in those dreams, but always of boys. I doubt we're going to discover the gender at Monday's appointment, since it is a group appointment, but I think I'm supposed to have a private appointment a couple weeks after that, so hopefully, we'll find out soon. Everyone's on pins and needles waiting to know.

Well, I can't think of much more to write, so I'm going to end this for now. I'm not feeling the greatest today, so no picture for this post, but maybe next time.

TTFN!!!

Two Weeks Later...

I know, I know, it's been a while since I posted anything. Sorry for the people that kept checking to look for updates and didn't find any. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. For starters, my husband's work schedule changed, so I didn't have consistent access to his desktop, where I prefer to write these posts. I am on my laptop now. Plus, I haven't had much news to report, and been feeling icky every now and then.

Well, here's what news I do have: Christmas was nice and quiet, just me and Bryan here at home. We each opened one present on the 23rd, Bryan gave me this awesome, incredibly soft blue robe. I'd been wanting a new one, because my old terry cloth robe is getting lots of holes. But this robe is nice and soft, and so warm. I wear it every morning. I bought Bryan season two of Law & Order: SVU, which is one of the only shows Bryan will sit and watch on TV. He hates commercials, so getting him the DVDs was a great idea.

My belly's getting bigger little by little. Every time I look down, I can see my belly button ring poking out from my shirt. I went to scratch near it on Christmas Eve, and it hurt really badly. I finally broke down and took it out. I hadn't wanted to, was going to wait until the day before my next appointment. I got all sad that night, because my belly button looks so much different now. I keep telling Bryan it's ugly now. I think it's already closing up. I'm afraid that it will close up all the way, and I don't know that I'd get it redone. It's not the pain, I just don't know that I'd go to the trouble to find a place to do it for me. Plus I'd have to pay for it again, and they won't use my own belly button rings, I'd have to buy another one. If it does close up, I just hope it doesn't leave a nasty scar that looks horrible once my belly gets even bigger.

Our neighbors invited us to her mom's house for a "quiet" Christmas with her brothers and neice and nephew. Bryan declined, and I kind of agreed. I would have felt strange, Sharon having all her kids and grandkids there, I would have felt like an intruder. Bryan just didn't want to spend Christmas with a family that wasn't his family. But it turned out to be a nice day anyway. We opened the rest of our presents, then watched television and talked to our families on the phone. Bryan got me a bathtub caddy that holds a book, a candle, and a wine glass. He also got me a really cool blender, which was something else I had been wanting. It has 14 speeds, including an Easy Clean setting, something I thought was really awesome. The cup is glass and holds five cups. We just went out and bought vanilla ice cream, so that we could make milkshakes. We were going to make smoothies, but we didn't buy any fruit that's smoothie-appropriate except for bananas. But I can still make chocolate-banana shakes. My mom got me hooked on those from Sonic when she was pregnant with my youngest brother.

The other day I had to go get a couple of maternity shirts. All of my others were getting to be too short to tuck in or keep from showing my belly. I have one that I bought a while back, but it's designed for bigger bellies than mine. But I bought two long-sleeved t-shirts. They are long enough that I don't need to tuck them in, and oh-so-comfy! I'm wearing one of them in the above picture. I have a pair of maternity pants, but I have three pairs of normal pants that still fit and have some give to them. So I won't need to wear them for a little bit longer.

I still wake up with a bloody nose every morning. Bryan has come to expect my morning sneezing attacks which usually occur shortly after blowing my nose after I wake up. My humidifier helps with my breathing at night, but it hasn't stemmed the nasal bleeding. I'm also getting a lot of that round ligament pain when I go through those sneezing attacks. I have to bend over when I feel a sneeze coming on, or I get a really sharp pain in either side of my abdomen. I also have to be careful when I stretch, or I get it too. Another discomfort I've been experiencing the last couple days is stomach upset. I can only have about half the amount of cereal I normally have. And if it has too much milk in it, I feel icky for about two hours after eating. This morning, I told Bryan I thought it was my lactose intolerance getting worse. But then, we had Subway for lunch, and I couldn't finish my sandwich. That had never happened before. So I finally realized that my capacity had been diminished by a growing uterus. My stomach just can't stretch as much as it could before. Time for smaller meals. I was already eating little bits all the time, but now I'm really going to have to watch my actual meals.

In other baby news, we've been told that this baby isn't going to have the honor of being the first grandchild for every parent. Bryan's younger sister is pregnant, and she's a month ahead of us. I felt really jilted when we first found out. But I'm over that now, for the most part. She and her boyfriend are moving to Florida, where his mom lives. She's going to a culinary arts school, in Miami, I think. I'm trying really hard to be happy for her, though her circumstances make it more difficult. She's 18, and her boyfriend isn't exactly a favorite person with the rest of the family. I just really hope she's stopped or cut back on her smoking. She's five months along, and just informed her parents on Christmas day. What timing... Anyway, before I let my bitterness get the best of me...

In yet more baby news, our kittens go to the pet store on Tuesday. I've done my best to stay detached, but the house is going to seem very empty without them. They've just ventured downstairs to meet the dog in the last week. The last couple days, they've been spending more and more of their time down here. We actually lose them every once in a while as they find random nooks and crannies to curl up and sleep in. Lilo, their mom, has been in heat since the 23rd, she's just coming out of it now, and starting to play with them and the dog. She's still really protective of her babies. When Sabre starts to chase one of them, she attacks him. It's quite hilarious. But we have one that spends nearly all of her time down here, and actually curls up next to the dog and goes to sleep. Bryan said he wanted to keep her today. The other day, he asked me if we could keep a couple of the kittens and sell Lilo. But he told me he wasn't totally serious about either of them. But we are most certainly going to get their mom spayed shortly after the babies go away. Her going into heat has gotten nearly intolerable. Plus, I want to be a more responsible pet owner than to let her get pregnant again. Granted, her babies are gorgeous and so much fun, but there are too many homeless babies out there. Our neighbor just rescued one that showed up at their house. Anyway, here are some pictures of our babies before they go away.

Our Last Childbirth Class (For Now)

I don't really have any specific subject to write about today, other than Tuesday's childbirth class. I've had a bunch of random stuff on my mind the last few days, but anyway...

Tuesday was our last childbirth class. It was supposed to be a three-part class, but the nurses teaching it have to work next Tuesday, so they shortened it to two days. It seemed to be a pretty short class despite having apparently had more information. They started off by talking about the signs of labor, and when to call the hospital. Then we watched a video of a cesarean section. Last week we watched one of a vaginal birth. After the video, a nurse anesthetist came and talked about various pain relief options, spending most of her time on epidurals, since that is the option of choice for most people. Then we went up to the second floor of the hospital to see the Labor and Delivery Center. We saw the triage rooms, where you start out when you first come in, and then we saw a labor room, where you deliver and I think you stay there until you are discharged, unless they need the room for someone else. The triage rooms have two beds, but the labor rooms are private, you only have to go just outside the door to go to the bathroom. One of the women in our group had absolutely nothing nice to say about the facilities. She actually went so far as to tell the nurses that she hoped the hospital was full when it came time for her to deliver, so that she could be transferred to another hospital. But we did get to go see the nursery. They are transitioning to a more specialized nursery, so that they can take babies that are born before 37 weeks gestation. That should be ready by the time we get to that point. I still felt strange going to the class, since everyone else there was ready to pop in the next month. But it was good information, and I was glad to be able to go see the labor floor. We might end up going again once we get closer to term. Bryan and I talked about my opinion on pain medication. I told him I wanted to try to have a natural birth, but I would do the paperwork for an epidural, in case I couldn't handle the pain.

Other than that, things are pretty normal. My body hasn't changed much since the last picture, so I'm not going to bother adding another one. As of yesterday, we have exactly six more months to go. I'm stalling on taking out my belly button ring, even though the last doctor I saw told me I needed to take it out. Looking at my belly, I can see it poking out there, and I just keep thinking, (think of Hammy from Over the Hedge) "But I like-a my belly button ring..." I'm just afraid I won't be able to put it back in without getting it re-pierced. I'll probably get it out before January 8th, when we go for the 18-week group class.

Passing the first trimester mark definitely lifted a weight from my shoulders, aside from the nausea going away. Most of the problems that are going to occur in any pregnancy occur in the first three months. My primary doctor definitely sent my blood pressure skyrocketing when he said the m-word (miscarriage), but I've heard SO many times since then that the bleeding I experienced in the second month was completely normal. Any pressure on the cervix, such as intercourse or an internal vaginal exam, can cause bleeding. I had both of those in a 12-hour span. But aside from miscarriage worries, if I get sick, it's not quite such a big deal to take medicine now as it was in the first 3 months. My preg doctor even said that if I needed to go back on anti-depressants, I could do that after three months. So passing that landmark was definitely a good thing.

As far as other things go, I've still got testing to go through, and I still need to get the results of my cystic fibrosis carrier test. The next tests are screening for neural tube defects, such as spina bifida, and for Down Syndrome. I think I get those after 20 weeks.

I don't know if I've posted it yet or not, but we have decided to go ahead and find out the baby's gender. We both thought it was the other one who didn't want to know, so we decided to just go ahead and find out. I also conceded to circumcision if it's a boy. My worries about circumcision, such as the pain and stress the baby will go through, will go away after a month or so. Bryan's worries are more toward the social aspect of it, and that will never go away, so I added that into the deal about finding out the gender. So we haven't added anything gender-specific to our baby registry, not until we know, or at least have an idea. I had been referring to the baby as a boy pretty much all the time, so until we know, I'm trying to quit that. If they do an ultrasound at this next appointment, we might even be able to find out then.

My appetite seems to steadily be getting back to normal, which is good and bad. I worry even more about getting enough to sustain the pregnancy above my maintenance. I'm not being woken up in the middle of the night with hunger pains, but they hit early in the morning. I wake up when Bryan gets up for work at 5am, and they'll hit as I'm trying to get back to sleep. So I'm still keeping granola bars by the bed.

That's pretty much it for now. I've got to walk to the store nearby to pick up some milk, and then I think I'm going to have a bowl of cereal. My stomach's growling at me.

TTFN!!!

The "Lovely" Physical Part of Pregnancy

I know I don't usually post so close together, but I don't figure you'll mind. Wednesday's post was all about the emotional stuff we were going through, and the other little day to day stuff of my pregnancy. Now I get to tell you all about the physical changes and problems I'm experiencing...

I've mentioned the significantly increased appetite before. That seems to have waned, at least the night part of it. I don't really feel hungry too often, but that may be because I'm eating nearly all day long. An apple, then a few chips, then a string cheese, then some macaroni salad, then a tangerine, then a Jello cup, you get the idea. Small things, but mostly healthy. The Jello is sugar free, and surprisingly very good. The only problem with this diet thing is that I've nearly become a vegetarian. I'll have meat with dinner, provided we feel like cooking that night, and that's it. I don't much care for the idea of ham sandwiches, and I've gotten burnt out on peanut butter. I bought a can of honey roasted peanuts, but the honey roasted part keeps me from eating too many of them. I'm trying to get my iron intake up a bit, because my doctor implied that I was anemic on my last visit. That's my biggest worry with not eating a lot of beef products. But I eat a bowl of iron-fortified cereal every morning, and I'm doing better about remembering my prenatal vitamins. So I hope I'm doing okay on the iron bit. I've been anemic before, but now I'm trying to increase my intake for the health of the baby and me.

Now onto bodily changes. I'll start at my head and work my way down. Seems easiest. First, I'm getting acne more. I had finally started to get my acne under control, I was having very few blemishes show up to plague me. Not anymore. I've got acne on my chest, on my shoulders, on my back, and of course my face. I'm even finding pimples just under my hairline on the back of my neck! Another thing affecting my head is nasal congestion. Seems like I'm always stuffy these days. And a lot of the time, it's bloody, both of which are apparently normal. Moving further down this baby vessel, I move to my chest. I have cleavage for the first time in my life! But the downside of that, they are very, very, very sensitive. It never felt good before to be elbowed in the chest, but now, it's nearly excruciating. Last night, we went to our neighbors' for dinner, and their little girl sat next to me on the couch. When she wanted to get down, she elbowed me in the chest for leverage. Oh, my goodness it hurt!!! On down, we get to my stomach. I've already talked about my appetite, or lack of one. I worry sometimes that I'm not eating enough, but I have to force myself to eat at times as it is. And that brings me to my digestive system. Earlier, I found myself more regular than I've ever been. That regularity isn't quite so regular anymore, but still not constipated. Unfortunately, I've been getting a lot of gas. And accompanying that gas are the gas cramps. I usually wake up with them, and they get worse when I lie down on the couch or when I'm trying to sleep. I feel really sorry for Bryan. At least they don't smell bad! Another kind of cramp I've been experiencing is round ligament pain. When I stand up too fast or strain too hard over anything, they'll cramp up. It's definitely not a pleasant feeling. But, moving on in our anatomy of a pregnancy, we reach my legs. I have been feeling lots of joint pain. When I stand up, my knees protest. When I stretch, my elbows protest. My shoulders even get into the act every once in awhile.

Well, that's all for the specific body parts. Overall, I'm feeling well most of the time. It seems my internal temperature is running a bit higher than it normally does, but I still get alternately cold and hot a lot. It's quite interesting trying to predict what temperature I'm going to feel at certain times.

I suppose that's all for now. I may update this particular post throughout the day as I think of things I may have forgotten. I'm going to add a preggo picture later today, when I can hook the camera up to my laptop. I took a picture last night right before I went to bed. Bryan had to come upstairs with me, because I suddenly got lightheaded and clammy, but the feeling went away shortly after I laid down in bed. Anyway, that's all for now.

TTFN!!!

Okay, so yesterday turned out to be a pretty busy day. We don't get those very often. We're such bums. But yesterday we went and got pictures taken for Christmas cards, then went and did a major update to our baby registry at Walmart, later going and getting our Christmas tree and some decorations. After we got home, I looked through the mail. My friend Lindsay sent me this wonderful pregnancy calendar and some other information about pregnancy and parenting, so I sifted through that. (Thanks, Lindsay!!!) Then we put up the Christmas tree and decorated it. After that, Bryan wanted me to see Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas movie, so we went to the video rental store, but neither of them had it. So we picked up something to eat while we were out and headed home. I went to bed shortly after. It had indeed been a busy day for us. So here is my edit, a day late.

The only other physical thing about this particular period of time is the backache. As my breasts and belly grow heavier, standing up and sitting up are harder on my back. Just sitting in one position for an extended time starts to hurt. I find myself flexing to try to pop my upper back. My lower back isn't bothering me too badly yet, at least. Oh yeah, and my asthma's back. It hasn't bothered me since high school. My doctor warned me that pregnancy could make it come back. He was right. My asthma seems to be different than anyone else I know, though. Most asthmatics I know can't stop coughing when they have an attack. I cough a few times to the gagging point. Once I've expelled all the air I possibly can out of my lungs, the attack's over. What I'm left with is the phlegm in the back of my throat. So I'm clearing my throat a lot after the attack is over. But my attacks can last maybe 30 sec to 5 min, where I've seen other people go 5 to 10 min of coughing, and they're left shaky and breathless. I'm usually fine after an attack. So my asthma is not something I concern myself with.

Other things I remembered occurred in the past month or so. I may have mentioned this in an earlier post, but I started getting short of breath about mid-November. I also kept getting this pain under the left side of my pelvic bone. And my heart rate was getting to be pretty fast. It seemed like laying down only exascerbated the problem. The pain came randomly, it seemed, and varied in its intensity and duration. But it seemed like when I lied down, my heart rate would accelerate, and the breathlessness would get really bad. It worried me, so of course my heart rate would quicken even more. I finally called the doctor, but it was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving when I called, and they were closed. My appointment was the following Monday anyway, so I just waited through the weekend. My doctor said that everything was normal. He explained it all away, and I left feeling much better than when I went in, especially since I'd gotten to see my baby that day, too!

Well, my morning cereal's not sitting too well, so I'm going to add my preggo picture and rest for a bit.

TTFN!!!

3 Months Along Today! (And Daddies are Expectant, Too)

Today marks 12 weeks, or 3 months along for us, and most importantly, the end of the first trimester!!! Yay!!! I think the majority of the nausea is gone now, to be replaced by heartburn. No more spicy food for a while. If Bryan wants tacos, he can have them, but I'm eating something else. I ate macaroni salad last night before we went to our childbirth education class, and I had heartburn during the whole thing, and for most of the night. The salad had red peppers in it. Not exactly a spicy food, but it still gave me mild heartburn. I think I need to get some chocolate milk mix. I can drink that to combat some of the heartburn, just not a lot, because it will set off my lactose intolerance. I'm looking forward to really starting to show, and hopefully to feel the baby move soon. Unfortunately, I think the military will allow us only one more ultrasound, unless there's a reason to do more than that, so we may not get to see the baby again for a couple months. I'm not really sure. If I end up being high-risk for any reason, they could do more, but I'd rather not be high-risk. That increases the likelihood that I won't be able to have a vaginal birth.

We attended our first childbirth education class last night at the hospital. Apparently, it was meant for women who are much closer to their due dates than we are. All but one of the other women there was due in January or February. It was still good information to hear about, though. They gave us yet another book to read through, I've gotten so much literature over the past two months. I'm sure I'm due to receive more still. Unfortunately, Bryan hasn't really looked at any of the literature I've received. I worry that he'll be horribly uninformed for this pregnancy and the months still to come.

We finally managed to talk about a lot of different things last night. He became quiet and withdrawn on the drive home from the class. That always signals he has something on his mind. He didn't want to talk about it, so I left him alone. Oh, but my mind was whirling, afraid that I'd done or said something wrong. I finally told him, it wasn't what he wasn't telling me that mattered, it was that he wasn't telling me. He finally expressed that he was feeling a little left out of things. I explained to him that I felt like he wanted to be. He didn't appear to be engaged with this pregnancy, other than making sure I was physically cared for. He didn't ask questions, he didn't bring up any concerns to me. But yet, he asked questions at the childbirth class last night. He totally took me by surprise, because he hadn't even mentioned that it was on his mind. He'd talked about it at work, apparently, but he'd not said anything to me. He was concerned about postpartum depression, because I am prone to depressive episodes. He asked the nurses at the class if there was any way to prevent it. Totally shocked me, because I had no idea of that concern. Of course, some of the blame for leaving him out was my fault. I don't want to worry him unnecessarily, so I go to other sources to express my worries, and research on my own to find out if I should be worrying. I'm also afraid that, when it comes to parenting styles or shopping for the baby, that he'll just defer to me anyway. He does that with anything involving shopping for anyone else. I tried to get him to look online with me for things to add to our baby registry, but he doesn't like the idea of registries at all. He feels it's like asking people to get us something. He's a very self-reliant person, sometimes to a fault.

I really fear being the one to do the majority of the care-taking of the baby, because I've done it before. He's never been around newborns, other than his siblings, who are 15 and 18 now. Because he doesn't ask questions or bring anything up to me, I worry that he's going to wait until the baby's born to ask how to do things. I would just really like for him to know those things already, so that I can rest those first couple of weeks. He feels that his questions will be answered in time by the doctors and various classes we'll take, with which I agree, I just didn't like the fact that I didn't know he had questions to begin with. He did tell me that we've talked about a lot of different parenting styles before, such as the use of pacifiers, but those conversations usually revolved around the little girl I babysit for. I needed a refresher on how he felt about this child in particular. So we talked about a couple different things, some he knew how to handle, some he didn't. It was a good conversation overall. It made us realize we are both going to have to handle things a little differently from now on as far as communication goes.

I really hope I haven't made him come off as a jerk. He never likes me to talk about this kind of stuff, because I guess I have a tendency to do that. He's really doing a wonderful job taking care of me, and trying to make sure he can come to all these classes and doctor's appointments with me. He pays really good attention to the nurses teaching the class, asking them questions about things they mention, like how long it takes for the soft spot on a baby's head to go away. He actually already got someone from work who is giving us some neutral clothes and a couple pieces of furniture for the baby. It's funny, he wants me to have the tests done for genetic defects like Down's Syndrome, so he can be prepared, but yet, he doesn't want us to find out the gender of the baby. I just think it's funny. I kept referring to the baby as a "he," and he told me I probably shouldn't do that, just in case it's a girl. We don't want to give the poor child a complex before she's even born. I guess I'm just hoping so fervently for a boy.

Anyway, I've been writing this for about an hour to an hour and a half now, so I should end it here. 19 Days Until Christmas!!! Yay!!! Time to go put on some Christmas music and maybe read a little bit. Later I'm going to make a list of things we need for the baby, and things we may want for the baby, so we can decide what needs to go into the registry and what doesn't.

TTFN!!!