HE'S HERE!!! Full Birth Story

Hello all, we have big news: Jennings Randall Lesher was born at 10:49pm on Friday, June 22nd at Langley Air Force Base Hospital in Hampton VA. Here's the story:

My doctor had made an appointment with the labor & delivery floor for me to have a non-stress test done. It would monitor his heartbeat and his movements to see how his heart reacted when he moved. So we got there, got hooked up, and Doctor Leis came in to check on me. She watched the monitor for a bit, then told us that she didn't like what she saw. His heartbeat baseline was in the high 110's, and they wanted it to be in the 130's or 140's. She said she wouldn't feel comfortable sending me home. She patted my leg and said, "You're staying to have a baby." We totally didn't expect to be staying when we walked in that morning. We already had the labor and diaper bags with us, but we hadn't made arrangements for our animals. A little while later, the doc came back in and broke my water. I was three centimeters dilated when she started, and four when she was finished. She said she'd come back to check my progress in two hours. So Bryan took that time (after a little reassurance that I'd be fine) to go home and drop off the housekey with the neighbor. He came back shortly after, in plenty of time (we don't live more than 20 minutes away from the hospital). I started feeling much stronger contractions, but they weren't too bad. When my two hours were up, I was 5 centimeters dilated. Doctor Leis said that if I wasn't at 7 in another two hours, they were going to start Pitocin, and chemically induce labor. When those (steadily more painful) two hours were up, I was somewhere between 5 and 6 centimeters dilated. So they started Pitocin, only a small dose, and the anesthesiologist came in and put in my epidural. I started shaking pretty heavily once it started, which made both Bryan and me nervous. But once everyone left, and I was able to relax, the shaking stopped. Now it was just a waiting game for me to dilate. We watched a LOT of tv during that time, and slept as much as we could. I watched the monitor screens a lot to watch JR's heartbeat as well as my contractions. I could feel when I had one, but I wasn't feeling any pain. About 7 or 7:30, the nurse came in and said it was time to start pushing. It took me a while to figure out how to push effectively, but my nurse turned off my epidural so that I could feel my contractions better. She got scolded by my doctor, but I was glad she did it. I still didn't feel any pain, but I could feel my legs more, and was able to feel my progress. It got tons easier when I finally felt his head as he was crowning. Bryan was wonderful the whole time, getting me water and chapstick, and holding the bowl when I had to vomit. That happened when the nurse wanted me to try pushing on my side, but my body didn't agree. Pushing was rough, mostly because it took so long for me to figure out how to push effectively, and because I couldn't feel that I was making any progress, and that was really discouraging. But when Bryan told me he could see JR's head, that was the best encouragement ever! And then Nurse Laurel (awesome nurse) had me reach down and feel his head when it was about halfway out. Between those two, I got the extra mental push I needed. I couldn't feel when his head came out, but I felt his shoulder come out, and could tell when the midwife pulled the rest of him out. When I saw him, I just started bawling, from relief that my work was done, and from the sheer beauty of the moment. Over nine months of waiting had rewarded us with this perfect being. Bryan cut the cord, and they placed him on my chest to clean him off. I remember saying, "He's so heavy!" I kept looking up at Bryan, thinking, We did it, we really did it...

So, 14 hours after we arrived at the hospital, and with three hours of pushing, Jennings Randall Lesher was born. I considered it an easy labor, and a relatively easy delivery. It was a relief, because after such an easy pregnancy, I thought I'd have a horrendous labor and/or delivery. As it was, the lady next door to me apparently had a horrible experience. As JR's head was just starting to crown, the nurses were hedging bets on who would deliver first. I guess she was just as close as I was. But as I got closer and closer to delivering, I could hear her crying. Nurse Laurel said she was panicking, she didn't want to have a bowel movement on the table, so she wasn't pushing right. Even though she had an epidural, she was still crying that it hurt really badly. I also heard her trying to give up, saying she couldn't do it. JR was born at 10:49pm, her baby was born at 1:04am the next morning. I was really proud of myself for never giving up, or even thinking of it. I was determined to get that baby out. I do remember thinking that he never wanted to come out, because he sure was taking his time.

It wasn't the birth experience I had hoped for, but it turned out for the better. I didn't want an induction, because I knew that inductions make contractions worse. I wanted to try to have him without an epidural as well, because I wanted to prove that I was strong enough. Women have had babies medication-free for generations, and I'd been told that a med-free birth gives us an enormous Superwoman feeling. But at the end, I told Bryan I was really glad I'd had the epidural, because I didn't think I could have dealt with the pain had I not. It would have been really hard to push through that kind of pain. But I knew that if I'd had to be chemically induced, I wanted the epidural. So it did turn out for the better, because I don't think I would have been given much of a choice about being induced. I told the Doctor I didn't want an induction, but if that's what it took to have a healthy baby, I didn't have a problem with it.


I just realized that I forgot JR's stats in the email I sent out. He weighed 8 pounds, 3 ounces, and was 20 and 3/4 inches long. He got an Apgar score of 9 at one minute old, and 9 at five minutes old. The highest a baby can get is ten, and it's incredibly rare that it happens that way. So he was doing great. The nurse did note that for being overdue, he still had a lot of cheesy vernix on him. Babies are supposed to lose more and more of that the longer they go past 40 weeks. I've noticed that he has a lot of that lanugo "fur" still yet, too. So apparently, he was right on time for him.

But like I said, Bryan was great, absolutely wonderful the whole time. He got my water when I wanted it, got my chapstick when the nurse advised against drinking any more. He helped me push, his voice was the one I focused on when he was counting for me. He helped me push through contractions when my nurse wasn't there. He was so encouraging, telling me how great I was doing, how proud of me he was. I'd never loved him more.

Here are some pictures:

Picture 1: Just after they got him cleaned up and Apgar scores taken, so he was about five to ten minutes old at that point. Doesn't Bryan just look so proud? :)
Picture 2: Taken with my camera phone while we were in our postpartum room.
Picture 3: These were taken right after we got home, three days after he was born. This was his going home outfit. His hat says Boob Man, though you can't tell. He was hungry when we got home, so I couldn't get a good picture of him.
Picture 4: I love when he's awake and alert like this. I get this after burping, when his belly's full, but he's been woken up. He's all content, but very alert.

That's all for this post. Still to come: JR's first days; My postpartum body

Officially Overdue

Hello all. So here it is, 4:30am on June 14th, and I'm still pregnant. ***Sigh...*** I went for my 40 week checkup on Tuesday, I'd dilated another half a centimeter, and I am 75% effaced, so at least I'm making progress. But at half a centimeter a week, he'll be here in another month... I'd been having a good amount of Braxton-Hicks contractions that I knew were the reason for the progression. After that appointment, though... I've been having lots more, much more regular, and starting to get painful. Sunday night, I was driving home from leading my mom to where she's staying for the week when I ended up in so much pain I was in tears. It didn't feel like contractions, really, but the pain would peak and ebb, so I wasn't sure. I called Bryan to let him know, since I was supposed to pick up dinner on the way in, and told him that if this kept up after I got home, we were going to the hospital. Within ten minutes of getting home, I was perfectly fine. Tuesday night, the night after my appointment, I went to bed at eight (I was SO tired), and woke up at 9:30 from a "I went into labor and was rushing around getting everything together" dream, and having contractions that lasted over two hours. Some were painful, some weren't, and they averaged 7.5 minutes apart. But they went away (darn) and I went back to sleep. I woke up again about 3am from a "My baby's coming, I'm not gonna make it to the hospital, having a home birth" dream, and again having contractions. These didn't last nearly as long, but they were a bit stronger. So I went back to sleep. I woke up at 8am from a "I had my baby in the hospital, all is well and I love him to death" dream. No contractions this time. I let the dog out to use the bathroom, checked my email and pregnancy message board, and went back to sleep at 9. I got woke up at 11:30 by the phone. It was officially my due date, and this was the first "Have you had that baby yet?" phone call. I got two yesterday. My mom got two or three. I'm actually surprised that I didn't get more, or emails. Pleasantly so, of course. I'm impatient, yes, but having reminders like that make the waiting that much worse. Like I told my mom and Bryan, when Junior decides to grace us with his presence is between God and him, and there's nothing we can do about it. I'm just really hoping he comes in the next couple of days. I'm so tired of these false alarms. Yesterday we went to the resort where my mom is staying to hang out with her and my brother instead of them driving here. On the way back, I started getting menstrual-type cramps and lower back pain at the same time. The back pain never really went away, but the cramps would come and go, and most certainly would peak and ebb. It wasn't nearly as painful as the stuff going on Sunday night, but I was definitely having contractions, I could feel my belly tightening up. These were stronger than any I'd felt before, and I got them several times within an hour. Bryan's mom called while we were on the road back, and when he described what was going on with me, she told him that's what his sister did two days before she went into full-blown labor. It kinda made him nervous. But again, shortly after I got home, they went away. I just read that the current theory on what gets labor to start being stress hormones causing muscle tension in the uterus, and that leads to contractions, which subsequently lead to labor. I'm thinking that may be right in my case. It seems that when I get home and relax, all these contractions go away. But Tuesday night's stuff really got me nervous, because Junior shifted his position. I can normally feel his rear end under my ribs on the right side, and that's where he seems most comfortable. That night, he moved to where his rear was right in the middle of my belly, into birthing position. Really got me wondering if it was time to be making phone calls. During the time I was having all those contractions, I got up, moved around, cleaned my kitchen, and when they still didn't go away, I came back to the couch and laid on my side. That's when they stopped. These false alarms are driving me nuts. I really don't want to go to the hospital until I'm fairly certain that what I'm feeling is true labor. I know that if I go in and it's not, I'm going to be SO horribly disappointed. So when these contractions start up, I time them the best I can, and if they last more than a couple hours, and get stronger in that time frame, then I'll get Bryan and head to the hospital. So far, none of my contractions have lasted for longer than an hour, save for the two hours on Tuesday night.

But I did get another sign of impending labor Wednesday. For those of you who are squeamish, I'd suggest skipping this paragraph. I lost my mucous plug. I thought I'd lost part of it last week. Boy was I wrong. It's hard to describe what I found when I went to the bathroom about noon yesterday. It was long and sticky, looked like snot and moved like jelly. It was clear except for a spot of blood at each end. It came out in two parts. I don't know if it was the entire thing or not, I have no idea how big it is to begin with. But it came up on the toilet paper, and I very nearly took a picture of it. But it was too disgusting. I reached down again, and up came still more! It was smaller, but still had the same consistency and color, complete with the spot of blood at one end. When I told my mom about it, she told me that she never saw hers with any of us three kids. Bryan just asked what it meant. I told him it meant that my cervix had opened up enough for that to fall out, and that it meant I was making progress. From the research I did on it, it doesn't mean labor's right around the corner, but it is something to note and mention to the doctor on the next visit.

Speaking of the doctor, I saw a doctor on Tuesday, not a nurse practitioner. There wasn't really much difference. She was really nice, and gentle with my exam. She asked a couple times whether we had any questions. Almost all of my questions were answered by the nurse last week. Did I write about last week's appointment? I'll check, and if not, I may put up another post. Eh, no need for another post. I'll just edit this one, there wasn't much to tell anyway. Anyway, the doc told me that I had two choices: I could schedule an appointment for next week, or I could be put on the induction book for eight days from Tuesday. I figured, my mom's going to be gone either way, might as well let him come when he wants to come. So I chose the appointment. She made my appointment for the 21st. Most of the time, we are the ones who have to go to the appointment desk and make our own appointments, so the fact that she did it for me was pretty cool. But she came back in and told me when my appointment was, and that if I hadn't delivered by then, she figured I'd want to talk induction at that visit. Who knows? I'm pretty comfortable physically right now. Emotionally, I'm a rollercoaster, but I'm doing my best. Anyway, somehow we got on the subject of helping things along as far as labor goes. And this doctor comes right out and tells us to have sex!!! I was thinking, OH MY GOODNESS, DID SHE REALLY JUST SAY THAT??? No attempt at tact whatsoever, just point-blank, out there, blatantly tells us to have sex. I don't know why I was so shocked, she is a doctor after all, but still, it shocked me. Bryan says I turned beet red. I don't embarrass easily, but for some reason, that did it.

Anyway, so here I sit, 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I just know I'm going to be fielding phone calls for the next couple days until he comes, "Are you still pregnant?", "Is that baby here yet?", "You STILL haven't delivered?" I just tell myself, they say first time moms are late the majority of the time, and boys tend to be late, too, so I get a double dose, he'll come when he's good and ready, apparently he just wants to cook a little longer. Physically, I'm pretty comfortable. The worst part right now is trying to sleep. I can't seem to sleep any longer than four hours, no matter what time I go to bed. I went to sleep at ten last night, and lo and behold, I was awake just after 2am, with contractions. If I go to bed at midnight, I'm awake at four. This morning, I laid in bed counting contractions. They weren't really timeable again, the same crampy pain with lower back pain, but I counted how many I had over a certain period of time and averaged it out. This morning, it was nine contractions in 45 minutes. They didn't last any longer than that. They were five minutes apart, so if they'd lasted two hours or more and gotten stronger, I would have been waking Bryan up. As it is, all my moving around trying to get comfortable woke him up anyway, so I got up and went downstairs. He really needed his sleep. But another issue yesterday and lingering into today is my swollen feet. They got pretty swollen yesterday afternoon, and at eight last night, I couldn't walk on my left foot without pain. So I propped my feet up on my mom's coffee table, and we talked about watching a movie, but Bryan was SO tired, and we needed to let the dog out anyway, so we went ahead and went home. I have a couple blankets on the bed that are folded up to where I can put my feet up on them, so I went to bed shortly after we got home. I think the swelling went down overnight, but now that I've been up and around again, they've swollen back up nearly to the same degree as they were. I know my left foot's starting to hurt. I may end up calling the nurse's line to see if Epsom salts will hurt me any. I'll stick my foot in ice water first, see if that does any good. I'll probably end up bringing my blankets downstairs onto the couch, so I'm not stuck in bed all day, bored out of my mind. I could sleep, but I made up a lot of my sleep Tuesday night. It was heavily interrupted, but I still got more than four hours. Oh, I think I feel more contractions coming on, so I'd better end this.

Oh, last week's doctor's visit, if I already posted about this, just disregard. The nurse was really nice, she answered all my questions, didn't rush me at all, and asked plenty of her own. She checked my cervix, I was a "solid" one centimeter dilated. She didn't tell me if I was thinning out or not. That's basically the majority of what happened.

Anyway, I need to get another bottle of water, put my feet up, and see if these contractions decide to continue. They seem to have gone away just in the short time I've been writing. Five minutes never seemed so long... I keep thinking the contractions have stopped, and I'll look at my watch and realize it's only been four minutes since the last one. It's crazy.

TTFN!!!

This week's issues

I realized most of my previous post, I talked mostly about what was going on outside my body in my world. For those of you who want to know, here's what's been going on with my ginormously huge *grin* body. (Bryan considers himself a very lucky husband, since I've not had any self-esteem "I'm so fat" issues)

I'll start at my head and work my way down. My hair: It's grown SO much. I finally broke down and got a couple inches taken off about a week ago. I hate getting my hair cut. But I want to use my Glamour Shots gift card that Bryan got me for Valentine's Day, and my hair looked horrible with all the split ends and stuff. But it looks much better now, even though I'm still trying to get used to the suddenness with which my ponytail ends. My eyes: I've noticed that when my eyes are tired, I'll see ghost outlines of everything. I'll move my hand across my line of vision, and it'll look like there's a strand of my hair stuck on the outside of my hand. It's really weird and horribly annoying at times. It took me a while to figure out what was going on, I kept looking for that strand of hair to take off my hand. I also have horrendous dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. I have them normally anyway, because of wearing glasses, but the glasses themselves usually hid them. Now I can see them under my glasses and it bugs me. My nose: I've been more stuffed up lately, but I think it's weather-induced, it's been really warm here, and I'm sure that the pollen counts are sky-high. I don't really have much in the way of allergies, but I'm still slightly affected. My chest: Amazingly enough, I actually can still wear my B-cup bras. I can't wear them for too long, though, because the 34 part is too small. Bras in general right now are really uncomfortable because of the area on my stomach that my bosom rests on when I'm sitting. Junior loves to push his feet in that area, and I could swear there's a hernea there. It's horribly sensitive from both the inside and the outside. It hurts really badly when Junior pushes there with his feet, and also when it's touched from the outside. It's the worst on the right side, so I've started trying to make sure that I sleep leaning toward my left, so he doesn't get comfortable with his feet in such a painful spot. It's worked well so far. My lower stomach: I'm an OUTIE!!! It's so funny to see, because you can see my belly button poking out when I wear certain shirts. Because of where I had a belly button ring, I have this funny-looking arc over my belly button. (o That's what it looks like if you tilt your head to the left. Anyway, I also have some serious stretch marks on my belly now. I didn't have any until around 34 weeks along. Then they were all too low on my belly for me to see them except in a mirror. Now they've crept up and seem to be radiating out from my belly button. They don't bother me right now, but I can foresee the big possibility that they will really get to me after Junior's born. I loved my pre-pregnancy figure and loved wearing bikinis to show it off. I might be less inclined to do so with such horrid stretch marks. I also have them on my hips and upper thighs, all the way around, but those I'm less concerned with. They don't cover such an expansive area, and they're already starting to lessen as I quit gaining weight (finally). I've gained right at 40 pounds now. I shouldn't gain any more for the rest of the pregnancy. I might actually lose some of it since the baby should be fully developed and my body doesn't need all the extra stuff anymore. My feet: Because it's been so hot and humid here lately, with the Tropical Storm Barry around and all, my feet have started to swell again. My hands have too, I can't move my wedding rings. So I try to keep my feet elevated as much as I can. It's too hot to wear my support hose and especially my tube sox, so I just keep my feet elevated and try to keep cool indoors.

Temperature control: Ugh, my body is going nutso right now on temperature control. This last month or so, I've been getting so over-warm! This is SO not like me. Normally, I'm shivering at any temperature less than 70 in the house. Right now, we have our thermostat set at 65. Bryan is loving it because he's almost always too warm at anything above 70. But even still, when I go to bed, I sweat buckets. It may be gross, but I actually was waking up several times the other night thinking my water had broken, because I had my legs together, sleeping on my side, and where the skin met had been sweating profusely. I HATE it! I'm not used to sweating like that, I never used to. I never used to feel as over-warm as I have been, either. It's probably wreaking havoc on our electric bill, but we're both comfortable. I broke down and moved our fan back into the bedroom. We had it out on the landing at the top of the stairs to circulate the air and make room in the bedroom for Junior's bed. It's really in the way right now, but I didn't get nearly as uncomfortable and sweaty the past two nights, so it was worth it.

Emotional issues: Like I said earlier, I haven't really had any of the "I feel like such a fat cow/whale" issues. I know why my body is like it is, and the extra weight and stretch marks are the sacrifice I make for being able to have this little miracle of ours. But I've been thinking more and more about my post-pregnant body, and wondering if I'll be wearing my maternity clothes forever after he's born. As I said, I loved my pre-pregnant figure, and really would like to get that back. I know it's not going to happen immediately by any means, but I'm hoping to be able to wear my complete pre-pregnant wardrobe by the time he's six months old. I really don't want to have to go out and buy a new wardrobe, as much as I love to shop. We don't really have the finances to do that, with the baby and the move and all, so I'd end up wearing maternity clothes for a while longer. But there is hope. The way I'm carrying and the fact that I plan to breastfeed will both contribute to getting my figure back fairly quickly. In other emotional issues, I think I'm done freaking out about Junior coming early. I've been in early labor for three weeks now, as my cervix is dilating and such (ugh, Junior's got the hiccups... it gets annoying after a while), and that had me really worried that he would come early and I wouldn't have a mommy there. I told Bryan that I just wanted a mommy person that I knew to be there to talk me through labor, but he didn't believe me. He doesn't think I'd be satisfied with anyone other than my own mommy. But that's another can of worms. Anyway, for some reason, after my appointment on Wednesday, I was much more at ease about him coming early. I really think that he could come today (Friday) and I would be okay. With all the drama surrounding Bryan and my mom right now, I almost wonder if it wouldn't be for the best if he did come when she wasn't here. I'm really wondering if Bryan's not jealous of the relationship I have with my mom. I don't know, but he brought up being pushed aside again the other night, and had me really depressed the day after. My mom's a pretty understanding person, and if you tell her nicely that you need some alone time, or in Bryan's case, alone time with me, she'd be fine with that. She might be disappointed that she can't share in that time, but she'd be okay with it. Bryan isn't sure he believes me when I tell him that. The worst part is that I can't really prove it to him until the time comes. He's honestly got me really concerned about what this baby's delivery is going to be like. Here I was stressing over my mom and dad being around each other for the first time in years (they've been divorced for over 10 years and don't like each other very much), and I'd finally gotten over that, and now I'm worried about my two best friends in the world getting bad blood between them. I don't want this baby's birth to end up tainted because of this. Heck, I'm even considering doing this completely alone, no Bryan, no mom. Kick them out of the room, and try not to think about it anymore. Bryan would never forgive me, but I would really really really go off the deep end if he and my mom ended up not getting along. He's such an independent person, and he can't understand the relationship I have with my mom. She's been my best friend my entire life until he came along, and now I have two best friends. He makes me feel like he wants me to rely solely on him, but I can't do that. I better stop this before I work myself into a tizzy. I'll have to talk to him about it when he gets home from work. He's not going to like it, but it needs to be taken care of before my mom gets here. This keeps up, and it's going to be bad for everyone. Especially me.

Better go.

TTFN!!!

Hopefully the next installment will be a birth story!!!

I'm Dilating... and Waiting... and Waiting

Hello all! Very pregnant me, checking in! We are 39 weeks along today and a solid 1 centimeter dilated. I went last Wednesday for my 38-week checkup and had my cervix checked, I was one centimeter dilated. The nurse checking me had to go around the baby's head to find my cervix, that's how low he is in my pelvic cavity. As hard as she was pushing, it felt like she was trying to push the baby out my nose!!! When she finished, she seemed all excited that she had blood on her fingers... bloody show, they call it. If I had seen that without having an internal exam, it would have meant that labor was just around the corner. I tell you what, Junior did not appreciate all the poking around she was doing! While she was examining me, he was kicking all over the place. He doesn't seem to like being pushed around in there. He did the same thing when I was checked at 36 weeks to see if his head was down.

I went in for my 39-week checkup today. I've been having contractions every day, just one or two here and there, but I was afraid I was going to be dilated a lot because of them. A week's worth of contractions starting at 37 weeks was enough to get me to one centimeter. I don't want him to be late, but I want him to at least wait until my mom is able to be here. She's driving in on Sunday afternoon. I really want her to be here, so she can tell me what's going on with my body during labor. She went through labor with all three of us kids, even though she only went through natural delivery with one of us. For delivery, it's going to be just me and Bryan, but I'm going to have lots of coaching for that. Bryan's done his reading, although we should probably practice here and there on the breathing techniques. As far as labor goes, though, I know the nurses will likely be in and out during that, at least until I get dilated to a certain amount.

Anyway, I really liked the nurse I saw today. I've seen someone different pretty much every time I've been in for an appointment, but that's par for the course in a military hospital. I think I've actually only seen a doctor once, the rest of the time, it's been nurse practitioners. I know I'm seeing a doctor for my next appointment (if he doesn't come before then). But the nurse I saw today saw that I had a list, and was actually glad I was asking questions. She didn't seem like she was rushing me or anything. She answered all of my questions and asked plenty of her own. She quizzed me on when I should call Labor and Delivery, signs of labor to look for, and bad things to call immediately about. I asked her about estimating Junior's weight, because I know the weight thresholds that gave my mom trouble during delivery, and I wanted to better prepare myself for the possibility of a C-section if he was too big. So she felt around him and said that she estimated his weight to be about 7 and 1/2 pounds. That's a good weight. Of course I don't know her track record on how often she is right about that kind of thing or how far off she is on those kinds of estimates, but still, it gave me a little bit of peace of mind. She checked my cervix, much more gently than last time, and told me that I was still a one... "wow, a very solid one." She thought that maybe the last nurse was "giving me grace" when she said I was one centimeter, but she figured she must be wrong. So I may be closer to two centimeters, but still, not that far progressed. She didn't say whether I was effaced at all, though. She did tell me that the results of my Group B Strep test came back negative, which is good. I had the test done, but no one had given me the results yet. She told me what I needed to do to get pre-admitted, so that I don't have to worry about paperwork when I come into the hospital in full-blown labor. So I got that done.

I finally started packing our bags for the hospital. The diaper bag thingy that Bryan picked out came in the mail yesterday, so I could pack the bag for the baby. Here's a picture:

I was pretty skeptical about it, since I want a sling carrier for the baby. We didn't get a traditional car seat that comes in and out of the vehicle, instead opting for one that can be used from birth to 80lbs or so. I didn't want to have to lug it around all the time. But we needed something to carry Junior around in besides our arms all the time. But I was worried that this Baby Bandolier, as it's called, would interfere with carrying the baby in a sling. We'll find out when the sling comes in the mail. I was also worried that it wouldn't hold everything we'd need for Junior, but I just packed it today, and it does wonderfully.

In other news, we just installed the car seat. Bryan being a guy, he didn't want to use the instruction manual, which really frustrated me since this is such a huge safety issue, but he was already frustrated about the whole thing in general. He is under the impression that we're going to have to bring the car seat into the hospital for them to look at it. So he wasn't really thrilled about going to the trouble of installing it now just to have to uninstall it at the hospital and re-install it. So I just stood back and handed out advice as I dared. He finally got it installed, and got it level. It took about 45 minutes, but the worst part is that I know it's not completely right. I will probably go get the car seat's instruction manual later and take a look at it. That's how we did with Junior's bed; I did the manual reading while he did the manual labor. One of our biggest worries with the seat was that it would be too wide to fit all three of us comfortably and safely in our little three-seat pickup. We'd had experience with car seats in our truck with Julie, the little girl I babysit for, but we were concerned that the seat we'd bought would be wider than any of hers had been. It actually wasn't. We both fit in the truck with the car seat okay. Of course, it's not completely comfortable, but it wasn't horrible.

Anyway, I guess I'm going to end this mini-novella here and go get the car seat manual. It's getting dark, so we won't fix it tonight, but it will be good to know. We won't fix it tomorrow either, unless I drive him to work. He's on duty tomorrow. But I still want to get it right before Junior gets here, of course. Now we're just hoping that the hospital will come out to the truck to check the seat instead of having us bring it in. Hoping... hoping... hoping...

Wish me luck on this baby coming on time!

TTFN!!!

Here's the pictures I promised:

The difference in what I look like between these two pictures is amazing. You have to look close to see I'm pregnant in the first one, but I'm as big as a house in the second... Interesting...

Full Term Today!!! Only 3 Weeks Left!!!

Hi, all! Today is Wednesday, May 23rd, and at 37 weeks today, our baby is considered full term. Of course, I've been telling him that he doesn't need to come anytime soon, he needs to wait until his grandparents get here. :) Things have been going well, besides sleeping. I think, as time draws ever nearer, I get more and more anxious. I don't know how I'm going to know when I'm going into labor, I am most certainly nervous about the pain, and until a few days ago, we didn't have everything we needed for our little man. I'm most worried that he'll be late, and I won't have my mom with me during labor. If he's early, she can come as soon as she finds out that he's on his way, but there's still no guarantee that she'll make it on time. I feel like a little girl again, wanting to hold my mom's hand as I walk into kindergarten or get a shot for the first time. But those are the mental things keeping me awake at night. Then there's the heartburn. Last week, I had a 3-day reprieve from the heartburn, barely had any at all, was even able to sleep on my side like I prefer. After that, though, it seems to never end! I feel it nearly all the time, and the worst part is that nothing seems to work. Tums just aren't cutting it anymore. I try milk, as a natural antacid, but I can only drink so much, and lately I really haven't been wanting it. I had been eating ice cream about an hour before I went to bed, and that had helped for a while, but that stopped being effective as well. I could handle it during the day, because I could change positions pretty easily to lessen the impact. But at night, I didn't want to be moving around all the time and disturbing Bryan. Lying on my back was the best for the heartburn, but it was getting to where that wasn't comfortable for some reason. Lying on my side was more physically comfortable, but that let the heartburn flare up in a big way. I found myself cursing my childhood gastroesophageal disorder that made it to where my heartburn gets this bad. The sphincter at the end of my esophagus, which regulates what goes in and out of my stomach in that direction, is dysfunctional. Normally, it doesn't bother me, I get a little acid reflux now and again, but otherwise, it's fine. But with pregnancy hormones relaxing my muscles and my uterus pushing up on my stomach, it's a recipe for disaster. I say this so that the people reading this who have yet to have kids realize that my heartburn is more severe than normal, and not to expect to experience it like I have.

But anyway, my mental worries and the heartburn have been keeping me awake. My lack of sleep has been turning me into a major grouch. It got so bad that I decided I was going to start sleeping on the couch. It's incredible comfortable, because I can sleep in a reclined position with the back support I don't get in the bed. But when it came time for Bryan to go to bed, we both realized that we really didn't want that. Neither of us wanted him to go to bed alone. I told him there was one more thing we could try. We had to simulate the couch sleeping position. He jumped on it, because he had been contemplating how he could sleep on the couch, or bringing blankets and pillows down and sleeping on the floor next to me. I wanted to cry, he was being so sweet... But we put my body pillow up against the wall, and piled blankets and pillows behind my head. I brought one of the pillows from the couch to add to the pile. After a few adjustments, it was pretty close. After a few more, it was great. It wasn't like the couch as far as where my rear was, you can't make your mattress softer unless you have one of those Sleep Numbers or something, but it was good enough to where I was comfortable. And it worked! I got more sleep that night than I had in a week. But I still had heartburn. So yesterday, I went to see my doctor for some Zantac. And last night, I slept through the night for the first time in two weeks! It was really nice.

Now to talk about the doctor's visits. Monday was my 36 week visit with the OB. I was due for my Group B strep test. If they found the strep bacteria around my vagina, the baby would need antibiotics for it when he was born. So the doctor got one of those gigantically long Q-tip things and took a swab of the outer rim of my vagina. It hurt at first, because my body didn't produce any natural lubrication. Once it did, it was fine. She asked questions about the baby's movements, if I was having any Braxton-Hicks, and birth control postpartum. The baby's been moving like crazy, I haven't been having Braxton-Hicks very much in the last week or so, and I was planning to use the three-month supply of my Evra patch for birth control. The doctor said that if I'm breastfeeding, I shouldn't use anything with estrogen at least until my 6-week postpartum checkup, because it could interfere with milk supply. She actually suggested the Nuva-Ring that I'd been hearing about on TV. She showed me how it was used, and said that out of all the estrogen birth control methods, it has the lowest amount. I still have some questions about its use, but I might go ahead and look into getting it. It still seems a bit messy to me, especially putting it back in after the week without it is over, but I have plenty of time for that. I asked her about elective induction, where I would have labor induced when I wanted. She told me that they don't do that at that hospital, mainly because they are really busy. But induction when the body's not ready increases the incidence of needing a C-section, and can actually make labor longer and worse than it would be normally. Of course, she asked why I wanted to know. I wanted to know about doing that so that if Junior doesn't want to come when my mom's here, I can be induced to make sure that he does. But that's not a good enough reason for the hospital to do that for me. Can you tell that I want my mom here?

Bryan's starting to get nervous, too. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do in the labor room besides hold my hand. So I had him read the section about labor and how the coach can help in the pregnancy book the hospital gave us. I also looked up information on www.babycenter.com and www.americanbaby.com for him to read. I know he read the book, but I don't know about the websites. I may still stop by the library and get him something to read through. I told him we could practice if he wants to. I've been practicing some breathing techniques here and there, but there are still some things I want to go over with him, like relaxation options he can help with, and what my focus or focal point is going to be. I don't even know that yet. I've been trying to think of one. I could use a memory or visualization of a peaceful place, I could use a picture of someone I care about, some object that makes me feel relaxed or peaceful like a stuffed animal. There's infinite possibilities. I have no idea.

Another worry on my mind is that I still don't have my labor bag packed! Part of that is knowing I need to get a nightgown that buttons in the front for nursing purposes, and that I don't have any idea what my focal point is going to be. I also need to find my CD player and either burn or buy a classical music CD. I used to go to sleep to that stuff, especially the Native American flute music. I know that would help me relax. And we still don't have a diaper bag for Junior. Bryan wants this thing that looks like a tool belt that goes over the shoulder. I want something more traditional. I showed him a few websites with diaper bags, hoping he'd pick a more traditional one that didn't look too babyish or girly, and he picked this Baby Bandolier thing. I just worry that it won't have room for everything we need. I'm still going to order it, but I may go ahead and get a different one for me. I don't know yet. We picked out a stroller, but haven't bought it yet. And we don't have a baby carrier. We're not getting any of that stuff until after payday, which is a week away. I know we're getting it, but I worry that he'll come early and we won't have any of it.

And Bryan and I still have to talk about our birth plan, what I want done, what I don't want done, things I'd like to have with me, etc. Lots of stuff still to do, and I haven't finished cleaning the house, either. I had made a list of all the little things that needed done, and decided we (think "I") needed to do two things on the list each day to get everything done in time. I've been seriously slacking off for the last four days, haven't done anything. I've just been too tired. No energy. Even now, I'm dragging. I keep misspelling words. I slept til ten after taking Bryan to work at 5:30, and it's only noon, but I am so wanting to go lie down and take a nap. I probably will, because I know I need the rest. But it just drives me crazy because I don't feel like I'm doing anything productive.

This post has gone on long enough. Time to quit griping and go take a nap.

TTFN!!!

Crunch Time/Time Grows Short

I look up at my calendar and freak, every day... As of tomorrow, May 9th, we will have five weeks left until Junior's due date. *Silent screaming ensues*

Mentally, I am so freaking out. I want to go out and buy everything we don't already have for this little guy, right now, just so it's done. I want to get this house spotless for when grandparents arrive. I want to plan for every contingency. Aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Physically, I haven't been doing much. I don't want to stress, there's no point. I have time. Besides a couple of little things that are incredibly easy to find (diapers and wipes, and baby toiletry items), we have mostly everything we need if he comes early. Junior's bed's not set up yet, but I've already warned Bryan, our bedroom is getting cleaned, and his bed's getting put up this weekend. But there's some stuff that we don't need to buy right now, like a high chair. I want to breastfeed, so I'll need a pump, but if I can't breastfeed, I don't want to have wasted the money. There's not much cleaning I can do, with the animals shedding like they've got alopecia, I'm only going to have to do it all over again. I do want to make this place more presentable, especially with Bryan's stepmom coming. She keeps an impeccable house, and her opinion of me is pretty important. I don't want to give her anything to say against me. But I'm going to try to do a little bit every day, starting this weekend. I still freak out a little every time I look at a calendar and realize how incredibly close it's getting, but I think I'll be okay. Bryan hasn't said much, I wonder how and when it's going to hit him, if it does.

It still amazes me that I'm back on decent terms with my dad. It's hard to believe that he's actually planning to be here for this little man's arrival. It makes me really happy that he's coming, though. He seems really excited about becoming a grandpa, and that puts a smile in my heart. I can't wait to see him hold his grandson for the first time.

Now for the list of uncomfortables... I have been having SO much heartburn lately. And it seems that Junior has found a new place to rest his feet: my ribcage! He gets his little feet up in there and pushes, and it drives me crazy! It feels like my ribs are being pulled apart from inside. The other day, he was messing around in my lower left abdomen, which I'd been calling my kidney, ALL DAY LONG!!! After Bryan showed me where my kidneys were normally, I realized that wasn't what he was pushing on after all. It's probably my ovary or something. But either way, IT HURT! Bryan saw me wince in pain while I was dressing one day and started chuckling. I told him that I wish I had some sort of telepathy, so I could project into his mind what it feels like to be getting beat up from the inside. He just kinda laughed, and said he'd never felt luckier to be a guy. Silly boy. I told him he's getting the poopy diapers for a month, and I'm waking him up for every nighttime feeding even if I'm breastfeeding. He can bring Junior to me and take him back to bed when he's done eating. Then I stuck my tongue out at him and moved on.

I'm getting really tired of Tums, they dry out my mouth and leave an odd aftertaste, so I'm resorting to other methods to reduce my heartburn. Ice cream is absolutely wonderful, but I know it's seriously not good for me. So I've started drinking an eight-ounce glass of chocolate milk when I get heartburn. And I'm back to my Sprite. The carbonation helps me get the most air out of my stomach, which is a major cause of my heartburn. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but it works. Unfortunately, I can't keep a glass of chocolate milk by my bedside, and flat Sprite does no good, so when it flares at night, I have to take Tums. I keep a water bottle on the bedside table to wash it down, but it still leaves a funny aftertaste. Oh well. I deal.

My cravings are becoming less acute. TV food commercials still get to me, but less so. They got so bad at one point, I had to close my eyes, plug my ears, and hum so I wouldn't see them. Inevitably, I would want almost anything they were advertising, especially the unhealthy stuff, like donuts, ice cream, and candy. But I can sit through one now and be okay. A Reese's one got me yesterday, but the craving went away.

I think my belly button's going to pop soon. I can see the bottom(?) of it now, and it kinda sticks out a little. I found new stretch marks forming on the underside of my belly while we were on our trip. That was another routine that fell by the wayside while we were gone: lotion on my belly and thighs and hips before bed. I figure that's why I've got those stretch marks. I also think he's starting to drop into my pelvic cavity. I feel like I'm carrying differently, and my pants don't fit the same. That could also account for the new marks. So far, they're not as angry-looking as the ones on my upper thighs. I actually can't see them unless I look in a mirror, since they're below my belly button. Luckily, even though my belly feels like it's gotten bigger, my weight gain has leveled off, which is wonderful. My neighbor told me she didn't think Junior was going to wait until his due date. I just told her to hush, he was gonna wait, or I was gonna tan his little hide when he came out.

The baby also seems to be getting more active. He contributes to my heartburn by bumping up against my stomach. But it's good to feel him moving. Bryan's gotten to see and feel him move more in the last week than he has the whole pregnancy. I'm waiting to find out if I'll be able to see the outline of a little foot or hand on my belly... so far it's only looked like a big round thing moving under my skin. He's getting hiccups quite a bit lately, and sometimes they're visible. Bryan likes to poke around on my belly to feel where he's at. I let him do it instead of telling him where Junior's sitting. Bryan seems to enjoy it, and I'm okay with it as long as he doesn't get his fingernails involved. At times, he'll hit a painful spot and I'll have to tell him to go somewhere else, but most of the time it's okay.

Anyway, that's pretty much it for now. I don't have any new pictures to post, though I really should buckle down and take a couple. Sure, why not, I'm a month behind anyway... Off to bed with me now...

TTFN!!!

Sorry It's Been So Long/Trip Update

Sorry this update's so long in coming... It got pretty busy around here for a while. I did go to the doctor like I said I would about going on the trip. She wasn't sure what she should do, so she called the referral department at TriCare, and then gave me the information I needed. It was easy. I was in and out really fast. I had another appointment with Women's Health the day before we left for Missouri. I got a refill on my iron pills, and the doctor palpated my belly to determine Junior's position. She found him head down, which is good. As he gets less and less room in there, he's less likely to suddenly switch positions on me and become breech. That would mean a C-section, no doubt. But, oh, man! Junior did not like all the poking and prodding she did! He started pushing and kicking as soon as she stopped! I just kinda laughed. The doctor did tell me that the next time I come in, at my 36-week appt., I was going to have a test for Group B strep bacteria. Apparently this is a normal bacteria in our intestines, and given the proximity of our waste disposal area to our playground, it is possible for that bacteria to find its way into the birth canal. They will swab the outer rim of the vagina, and if they find the strep, the baby will be given antibiotics soon after birth. I haven't had a vaginal exam since November, this should be fun.... heh, heh, heh.... ahem.

Anyhow, we left for our trip on Saturday morning. We made really good time, and were able to stay in a familiar city with the smell of cattle farms nearby, what a great smell to farm kids... :) We made it to Bryan's mom's house in the early afternoon, and hung out there for a few hours. We had to leave Sabre with her, since our resort didn't allow pets. But we were back the next day to have lunch at the restaurant where Bryan used to work, and to see some of his extended family. That night we were at his mom's so he could have her help him with his resume. They got to talking about the online game they play together, then his stepdad and brother joined in, since they play too. I just sat there twiddling my thumbs. I don't play the game, don't really have much desire to play the game, so I had no idea what they were talking about. Oh well.

Our resort was beautiful. We had an incredible view of the lake, a full kitchen with all utensils and cooking pots and pans provided. We had a dishwasher, which was awesome! The master bedroom housed a king size bed and a whirlpool tub. The place had two bathrooms as well. It was also equipped with high speed internet, which helped out immensely with Bryan's job hunting, since we'd brought the laptop. The dining room table was glass, which made me glad that we didn't bring any young children. There was a TV in the living room, master bedroom, and second bedroom. It was absolutely gorgeous. We lived better there that week than we do here at home!

Most of the rest of that week was spent doing Bryan's job hunting. We drove through the industrial areas and stopped by several places so that he could drop resumes, and got a couple leads from that. We went to a property management office with which I'd done business before and got a short list of (3) housing options to look at. The first one we turned down immediately, bad looking neighborhood, not so great looking house, too much money for what was there (or not there). The second one was an apartment. The worst thing about it was that there was very little place to let Sabre out. He wouldn't have been able to get any exercise at all, since it was right off a main road. The third place we liked from the start. It was a cute little three bedroom house. I didn't care for the barn red color on the outside, but it looked nice and had a fenced backyard, perfect for Sabre. We got to take a tour with the tenant, who was in the process of moving out. She told us she'd lived there for two years, and loved the place. She was moving because they'd found a bigger place in the country with some land for their horses. The only thing about the place that we would have liked to have was for it to be in a more secluded area. But it's in a quiet neighborhood, from what the tenant said, and well off the main roads. Nearly everything in it was no more than two years old, including the carpet and appliances. It needed a couple of small repairs, but otherwise, it was perfect. We told the management that we wanted it. The only hangup they had was that we didn't want to move in until August. But they took a deposit check, and said they'd only cash it if the owner changed his mind about waiting to see if another person wanted to move in sooner. The guy we worked with at the office actually called us yesterday to let us know that the owner was replacing the carpet in one of the bedrooms. He said he'd call once a week to let us know how or if things were progressing with the owner of the house. How awesome is that???!!!

So the house hunt went well. Unfortunately, Bryan's job hunt didn't go quite as well. He didn't pass part of the physical test for the Highway Patrol, so he's out of the running until next year. He plans to try again, but it put him down in the dumps for a while. He went to a job fair about an hour and a half away from where we will be living, but no one had any leads for our area. We found several jobs for which he was well qualified, but it never got any farther than putting in applications. Of course, now that we're back home, he is unable to do face-to-face interviews. But he's planning to put his resume up on websites like Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com. I may have to remind him to do it, though. We've been home for a week, and he hasn't yet. We'll see.

As far as pregnancy stuff, since that's what this blog is supposed to be about... My feet swelled to scary proportions on the trip there. Elevating them didn't do much, so we went out and bought support hose and tube socks. They helped tremendously. I also made myself get out of the car more often when Bryan did, since I'd sit in the car when he would go into places to drop off resumes. So my feet went back to their normal size, though my legs itched like crazy from the pantyhose. I did get to go swimming on our last day at the resort. I'd gone out and bought a cute maternity swimsuit just for the trip, since I knew we were going to have an indoor pool. Unfortunately it doesn't hide much of my stretch marks, since they're all on my thighs and hips. But I didn't care. I got to go swimming! An unfortunate side effect of my daily routine changing was that I didn't take my vitamins and iron pills like I should have, and I didn't stay hydrated like I should have. I ate okay, not as much as I do at home, but I think that was a good thing. On our way back, though, I had to force myself to eat. I didn't want to eat anything, even when I was starving, absolutely nothing sounded good. But I made myself eat. Luckily doing that didn't make me sick. I think I was getting depressed about going back home. It was so nice being back in Missouri, where things move at a slower pace, and the people are so much more considerate. I felt the change in my attitude when we got back. Our neighbors wanted to socialize a lot, since it'd been a while, our cat stayed glued to us nearly all of the first day we were back, and I wanted nothing to do with any of it. When I told Bryan how I was feeling, he said I masked it well, which made me happy. I wanted him to know that it wasn't directed toward him at all, I just didn't think I really wanted to be back home. It's nice because I have all my comforts nearby, but being away was such a nice change. I'm better now, though.

Well, that's about all for the trip update. I'll try to get a couple of pictures taken tonight or tomorrow and get them posted, so check back in a week. I might even get one of me in my sexy maternity swimsuit! :)

I'm going to start a new post to talk about what's been going on the last few days, so my readers can take a break. I know I tend to write mini-novels in these things. TTFN!!!

Ugh, the Aches and Pains of Pregnancy

Here we are, a little over 30 weeks along. If we go by months, I have two months and six days left. It doesn't seem like it should be coming up so fast. Less than ten weeks left! I haven't really thought much about labor itself, no need to stress over something I can't control. I guess the pain would be the only horrible part aside from any complications that might arise. And boy, is my body already trying to prepare me for the pain part! Starting on Wednesday, my mid to upper back on my right side started hurting. I'd felt this pain before, it's ligament pain as my uterus and other organs pull on the supporting ligaments and stretch them out. So I learned what certain movements to avoid, certain ways of bending down to do things like flush the toilet, or open the bunny's cage. Even so, there were certain times I just couldn't avoid the pain. It feels like someone is digging their finger into this one certain spot on my back when it happens, not a pleasant experience at all. But, since I could avoid making it hurt for the most part, I was okay. I slept on my left side that night, to support my belly and take some of the pressure off that ligament in my back. But the next day, the cramps started. Wednesday night, I got a little taste of them, but it was gas pain, and was relieved quickly once I let the gas out. But when it started again Thursday, it didn't go away, even after a bowel movement. But it was tolerable, if very annoying. I laid on the couch most of the day, reading. In that position, my back didn't hurt much at all. There wasn't anything I could do for the cramps except ignore them. Friday was worse. The cramps started right when I woke up, even though the back pain was lessened. I also had an earache from sleeping on my left side. I took care of the earache easily, popping my ear. But as the day wore on, the back pain got worse, and so did the cramps. Junior's moving around tended to make the cramping worse. Again, a bowel movement didn't make it go away. I took some Tylenol, but it didn't help. By 3:00pm, I couldn't take it anymore. The constant, neverending pain was starting to get to me mentally. I took my next dose of Tylenol and went upstairs to bed. And I could not get comfortable. Lying with my back straight helped the back pain, but lying in the fetal position helped the cramping. Finally, I found a position on my side that seemed to relieve both pains sufficiently. And then the heartburn started. Lying in that position loosened the valve at my stomach. I ended up in tears, simply because I was so tired of being in pain. The Tylenol wasn't kicking in, and it was too late in the afternoon to go to the doctor. I was so so miserable. I had gotten so stressed that I triggered Braxton-Hicks contractions. Parts of my uterus tightened up, and stayed that way for several minutes. It didn't hurt, but it kept Junior from moving, so I finally made myself relax. I laid there for half an hour before the Tylenol set in. And I still had heartburn. So I took some Tums, and finally slept. I woke up when the phone rang, and Bryan came up to see me after he finished talking to the caller. He brought me a bottle of water and a puzzle book, and sat with me a while. I laid there listening to the news on TV for a while, working on a puzzle. Bryan came upstairs again a little while later to tell me to let him know when I got hungry for dinner, and he'd bring me something. I decided that I could attain this comfortable position on the couch, I wanted to be a part of the world, not stuck upstairs in bed. So I went downstairs with my giant pillow and watched television. Bryan went out and picked up Burger King for dinner, since there was no way I was cooking that night. We watched a movie while we ate, and then I watched TV until 1:30am, when we both went to bed. At least I'd found a decently comfortable position in which to sleep. This morning seems better. I didn't wake up with pain, and thought maybe I was going to have a pain-free day. Nope, my back's still acting up. But at least I can avoid making it hurt. I might look a little funny bending over at times, but if I can keep the pain at bay, I'm gonna!

In other news, totally unrelated, IT'S SNOWING!!! We didn't even have a white Christmas this past year, and here it is, April 7th, and it's snowing! It's a kind of snow-rain mix off and on, but the snow's been steadily coming down. It's already covered the roofs of the cars outside, and it's starting to accumulate on the ground. It's so crazy! I am not stepping foot outside if I can help it. If there's snow and rain, there's bound to be ice, and there's no way I'm risking a fall right now.

Good news, I'm over the depression. After we found out that the baby is a boy, I started getting depressed. I don't really know why, since having a boy first is what we both wanted. I think my biggest fear was being left out, mostly by my own hand, when he's first born. I was afraid of that carrying over into later years, when he'd have more in common with Bryan once he wasn't so dependent on me. I can see myself letting Bryan do everything he can with the baby aside from breastfeeding, just so he didn't feel left out, to my own exclusion. But if this baby had been a girl, I would have taken over more as she got older, just because she's a girl and so am I. But being a boy, Bryan would be the one to wrestle with him, and do the boy stuff. But I talked it out with Bryan, and then my mom, and realized that I did a lot of the boy stuff with Alexander, there is no reason why I can't join in on the fun. Of course, Junior and Bryan will have to have their father-son time, too, but I can handle that. And shopping helped. I made myself buy clothes for him, and when I went with Sam to her ultrasound, I stopped by the hospital gift shop and picked up a little cap for him that said "Boob Man" and booties that said "Daddy's Little Boy." That seemed to help. But I'm totally over the depression now, which is awesome. I don't want to have to go back on antidepressants if I don't have to.

I never did get an email back from TriCare, so I called them to ask about getting their authorization to travel. They had no idea what I was talking about. When I explained what was going on, I was told that authorization isn't something I request. My primary care manager had to submit a form for something like that. But authorization wasn't needed in my case. I needed my PCM to refer me to an OB in the area. If I needed urgent care, I just needed to call my clinic to get authorization before I'm seen, and if there's an emergency, I have to notify them within 24 hours. So next week, I'm going to see my PCM to talk about that. I'm going Monday morning, because this trip's coming up fast, and I want to make sure I have all my bases covered.

Anyway, that's about it for this update. Sorry for all the complaining about my pain, but that's what's going on with me. That was almost all I could think about yesterday.

TTFN!!!

28-Week Checkup

Not much to tell here, this appointment took less than fifteen minutes. She acknowledged that I'm gaining weight, which is a good thing. She asked about my asthma, which has been inactive for years, and about my depression, which has reared its ugly head this last week. She measured my uterus, but didn't tell me the measurement. She found the baby's heartbeat with no problem, and it was in the 140s, which is what it was on the 20th. We talked about traveling, since the cutoff for my insurance is 34 weeks. The trip Bryan and I have planned puts me back home at 34 weeks and 4 days, so I've got to contact the insurance company about getting authorization for that. But the nurse said she'd be willing to write a letter attesting to the fact that I am not showing any risk factors for early delivery, and she also mentioned that it might be good for my depression to get home and see everyone. So I emailed my insurance company when I got home, and am just waiting for word back now. I mentioned the pain in my upper abdomen, and she started talking about pre-eclampsia, because right upper quadrant pain is one symptom of it. She did say that I'm not showing any signs of it, I'm not swelling majorly anywhere, and my blood pressure is low, where high blood pressure would be a worrisome symptom. But she gave me a pamphlet on high blood pressure anyway. We managed to get a lot done in the ten or so minutes I was in there. I went to the appointment desk and made my next appointment for April 20th, which would be the day before Bryan and I are supposed to leave for our trip home. That is 32 weeks and 2 days along at that appointment. So we'll see. I really don't want to be stuck at home if they don't clear me for travel... I really want to go home and see some of my family and friends. We'll see, though. It all depends on Tricare. Yay...

TTFN!!!

The Baby isn't Just "The Baby" Anymore!

First, I have to tell you about my last doctor's visit. I had been having this pain in my upper abdomen, just under my right breast. It felt like a bruise, but it didn't go away for over a week, and there was no discoloration. So I decided to make an appointment on March 14th with my primary care doctor, and see what was going on. I mentioned it to the last doctor I saw, in Women's Health, but she dismissed it as likely being bowel pain. That didn't sit right with me. So I went in, and my doctor palpated the area and said that she thought I might have a small hernia. She said that it could be caused by my uterus pushing my intestines up against my ribs, and that as my uterus continues to get bigger, it could shift and go away. But if it doesn't, I'm to let the clinic know. I also asked her about my iron pills. The box says to take one, but the doctor in WH told me to take three. I asked my primary care doctor if that was entirely necessary. She asked me how anemic I was, and when I didn't know, she checked out my numbers in the computer. They were 10 and 29. I don't know exactly what they mean, but the first number is supposed to be 12 or over, and the second 37 or above. So she said I should indeed be taking three. I told her about the scheduling conflicts with them. I can't lie down within 30 minutes of taking one, and I have to take it one hour before or two hours after eating. I'm hungry every two hours, not three. But she told me to ignore those directives and just to take it when I can. If they bother my stomach too much, then we could try something different. She also told me that if my heartburn got intolerable, to come back in, and she would put me on Zantac to help. So far, Tums have been wonderful. So that was fun. But I really like my primary care doctor. I hope our baby can be seen by someone in that clinic, because everyone there is so nice.

Speaking of our baby, we had our ultrasound this morning. The nurse at my 24-week class scheduled it because of my asthma (lovely excuse :) ). But the day started out horribly. I'm working a different schedule now because Julie's dad got fired from his department, and is now on call to take over gaps in other shifts. But he's had this class he's had to go to the last two days, and I have to be at work at 7:00am. So I woke up at 6:00 this morning to take a shower, and I was in immediate, constant pain. I felt horribly constipated. I'd been having an average of one to two bowel movements per day, so I didn't think that was the case, but that's surely what it felt like. It lasted all through my shower, and got to the point I could barely stand up straight. I made it to work, managed to get Julie up and dressed, but that was it. The pain got so bad I was in tears. Thank God I had made plans with Sam for her to pick Bryan up when she got off work. I couldn't have gotten Julie into the car without doubling over in pain. I took some Tylenol as soon as I got home, but it didn't kick in until we were over halfway to the hospital. I told Bryan that if it continued through the ultrasound, I was going to Women's Health afterward. I managed to get through the ultrasound pain-free (Thank You God). We got to see so much of the environment our little one is living in. The head was way down into my pelvis, and the legs and knees were up around my belly button. The tech took measurements of nearly everything. She measured the circumference of the head, the length of the arms and legs, and marked various different parts of the brain. We had told her at the beginning that, if possible, we would love to know the gender of the baby. According to the instructions we were given, she wasn't able to tell us much of anything, and we weren't going to be given any pictures. But she talked us through nearly everything, including measuring the amount of amniotic fluid in the placenta. She also got a very good picture of the baby's behind and genitals....

IT'S A BOY!!!

We were ecstatic! I couldn't show it much, because I was starting to feel in pain again. But Bryan was grinning from ear to ear. I went to the bathroom, and then we went back into the exam room to wait for the radiologist. While we were waiting, Bryan told me that he thought he would like to change the boy's name we had picked out. We had settled on Thomas Jennings, or T.J., very early on, but Bryan was wanting some way to factor in his stepdad's name. Randy has been nearly, if not as good of a father to Bryan as his dad, Jennings, and Bryan wanted to honor that. So he suggested the name Jennings Randall, J.R. for short, instead. I had put that suggestion out there, but he didn't like it at first. I guess it grew on him. He talked like he was going to want to talk about changing the girl's name, too, but that's not a factor anymore. I told him that name was fine by me. We started making phone calls as soon as we got out of the hospital. Now my mom can go shopping for the baby. She'd been bugging me about it for a week or so, complaining that she could only buy white stuff until we found out. But, the tech gave us pictures of the baby's face and genitalia. Here they are!!! (Along with pictures of me and my big ol' belly.

(Doesn't he look scary?)

(Sorry I look so upset.

I really didn't feel good.)

Not Much Going On...

I don't really have much to tell with this post, which is a blessing all in itself. Baby's been moving pretty regularly, liking to hang out right on top of my bladder. I think I've actually been experiencing my first Braxton-Hicks contractions. I'll feel my uterus tightening up about once an hour during the evening. It's a very strange feeling. I've also been getting a lot of back and rib pain. Most people think it's because the baby is up there, but it only heads that direction when I'm lying flat on my back. My theory is that I'm feeling all that pain because of the lack of real estate in my abdomen these days. Everything's jockeying for the most amount of space, and it's all pushing up on my diaphragm. It feels like I constantly need to pop my back, but doing so is usually fruitless. Tylenol doesn't even work. I've finally found a comfortable position to lie in on the couch that lessens it considerably. It seems to be the worst when I'm standing up or walking. So my second theory is that the round ligaments that are attached to my uterus are pulling on my ribs and back. I'm not sure. All I know is that it hurts, and I've been driving Bryan crazy complaining about it. But I've got to go pick him up from work now, so TTFN!!!

Update: 2 Days Later...

The morning after I wrote this post, I weighed myself like I do every three or four days. I always weigh myself right after I use the bathroom in the morning, and in the buff at that, so that I get a relatively accurate view of how I'm gaining. Last Sunday I weighed 143lbs. Friday morning, right after I wrote the first part of this post, I weighed 148lbs. That's gaining five pounds in five days. Not normal, especially when I'd been gaining a max of 2 pounds a week up until that point. So I called the Women's Health nurses' line at my hospital to ask about it, but I could never get through. Then I called Bryan to tell him I wanted him to come home; we were going to go in to Women's Health to ask about this. I was fearing pre-eclampsia/toxemia, both of which can cause the placenta to separate from the uterus, or deprive the baby of oxygen if my blood pressure gets too high. So I took my blood pressure on the BP monitor we have at home. it was fine. It was more elevated than it has been lately, but nowhere near anything to worry about. And my hands were swollen. I looked back on my daily habits from the last week, and decided there was nothing that could explain the sudden weight gain. I hadn't been constipated. Monday night, I had dealt with a bout of diarrhea after some pretty crazy cramps. But since then, I'd been regular. And I hadn't just eaten a huge meal the night before. So Bryan and I went to the hospital. Walking into Women's Health, we noticed a sign saying they had "downtime" on Friday mornings and didn't open until 9:00am; that's why I couldn't get through to them at 8:00 or 8:30 when I called. But I filled out the form to let them know what was going on with me, and the nurse came out to talk to me. She covered everything except the issues I was there for: the weight gain and the swelling. When Bryan mentioned this, she said that's not covered on a walk-in basis, that's for an appointment to deal with. So she made me an appointment for Monday morning. That was the only fruitful part of the trip up there. She refused to even mention the weight gain or the swelling in my hands. I walked out of there so frustrated I nearly cried. We made our phone calls to tell everyone what had happened. I had called the parents I babysit for to let them know I may not be able to work, so I had to call them to let them know how it went. I had also called my mom to see if she knew of any family history of pre-eclampsia, since that's a risk factor, so I called her back to let her know that I learned absolutely nothing. But it also turns out that I may not have anything to show the doctor when I go in on Monday. This morning I weighed 145lbs. I lost three pounds in a day. So we'll see what happens. Yesterday was just so frustrating. I'll update again on Monday, after I see the doctor.

Update: After Doctor's Visit

I almost forgot to do this, my friend Lindsay asked me what happened, and reminded me that I hadn't updated like I was supposed to... Sorry!!!

Anyway, apparently the reason for my appointment wasn't put in for the doctor, because I had to inform her why we made the appointment to start with. But, lemme start from the beginning. That morning, I woke up with some pain in my lower abdomen. Not cramping, really, but not bowel pain either. And I've had this spot on my belly at the top of my uterus that has been hurting like it's bruised, but there's nothing visible. To add to my distress for that morning, I wasn't feeling baby moving. Usually the baby is moving around within minutes of my getting up, but that wasn't the case yesterday morning. Finally, after I was up for an hour, baby finally started moving. I did the kick count, and reached 10 movements within 20 minutes, probably making up for lost time. So that relieved that part of my anxiety. We went to the doctor, and she was really hard to understand. She had a really thick accent that I couldn't decipher at first. But she measured my uterus, which measured 26cm, right on target. Then she listened for the baby's heartbeat, which was between 137 and 142 (right in boy range, according to the old wives' tales). She told me that she thought the pain I was feeling was from ligaments, which didn't make sense, but she seemed to have as difficult of a time understanding me as I did her, so I didn't press it. I told her about the weight gain, but she told me that my weight was on target now, and my blood pressure was nowhere near a worrisome measurement (111/66, pulse 82), so it was likely just retaining water for some reason. She told me that was very common in the third trimester, and unless it had stayed that way (I lost three of those five pounds) and my blood pressure started rising, it wasn't really cause for concern. She did inform me that I was anemic (not that it was any surprise to anyone, I've been anemic most of my life) and prescribed an iron supplement. She had to look up the results of my glucose test, but it was 110, which was perfectly fine. Apparently over 130 is cause for concern. She said it was good to be anxious, and to know when things aren't right. She reiterated the reasons to come in, (bleeding, contractions more than 6/hour, no fetal movement) which I had heard SO many times already. But I'll know for next time... walking into Women's Health is useless, and making a doctor's appointment is almost as fruitless. I'll just have to make sure I'm able to call the nurse's line, knowing about their "downtime" on Friday mornings. That might actually give me more answers than going into the clinic.

I tell you what, though, I am already hating these iron supplements. I've felt bowel pain nearly all day today. The directions on the box say to take one a day, but my directions are to take three a day. It should be interesting, since I have to time it around eating and sleeping. I can't do either within an hour each direction of taking a pill. So we'll see.

Anyway, it's bedtime. Poor Bryan, he's feeling terrible today. He's caught my upper respiratory infection, and it's really bothering him. And my abdominal pain's not made me the greatest of company either, so it's been an interesting day. Not so great. But anyway, off to bed with me. I still need to shower.

TTFN!!!

My 24-week Group Appointment

I just got back from my 24-week group appointment at the hospital. Almost all of my other appointments at Women's Health have been group appointments, so this was nothing new. It was a different provider, though. The lady who directed my 18-week group class was a CNM, Certified Nurse Midwife, who worked up in Labor and Delivery. The lady who did this one was a Nurse Practitioner, who does not work up in Labor and Delivery. She does the prenatal and postnatal stuff. But she was nice, talked really fast, but got everything done, and managed to get through everything she needed to talk to us about. Bryan didn't get to go with me to this one. He was off work almost all of last week, so he didn't get the chance to tell his superiors that he needed the morning off for this appointment. But he'd been to my other two group appointments, so he knew what was going to happen. The only things I was worried about happening without him were another ultrasound and getting the results of my Maternal Analyte Screening. But I didn't get an ultrasound, and all my test results came back normal. I felt SO left out, ALL of the other women there knew the gender of their babies (ALL boys), and I had no idea. But it was the first for every one of us. When I went in for my individual exam, I asked the NP about symptoms of anemia, and she told me that the symptoms I'd been feeling were more likely attributed to low blood pressure, and were fine. If they really bothered me, I could increase my fluid intake. I have been told that SO many times now, increase your fluids because you're pregnant, increase your fluids to raise your blood pressure. I can't drink the amount of water they want me to in a day, it's nearly impossible!!! I also asked her about traveling. Bryan and I are planning a trip to Missouri in April to go job and house hunting, and I needed to know the cutoff for those kinds of trips. She told me that 34 weeks was the latest I should be traveling, because after that, they worry about going into preterm labor. So we may have to work around that. I'm supposed to be back by May, and the trip we were looking at taking would have us back home May 5th. So we'll see. I also asked her about fetal kick counts, and when we should be doing them. She said she'd address that with the group, and when she did, she told us that we would begin to notice a pattern in baby's movements. If baby doesn't move when we think it should be, then do a fetal kick count and document how many movements occur within an hour. If it's less than five, then continue counting for another hour. There should be 10 movements in a 2-hour period. If there isn't then we're supposed to call the clinic. I've already started noticing a pattern in baby's movements. I'll usually feel quite a bit of movement every two hours, starting at about 8:30 in the morning. But she said that we should definitely feel movement every day. If any day goes by without feeling any fetal movement, then call the clinic first thing the next morning. I didn't have to worry about that, baby was kicking halfway through the discussion! I guess decreased fetal movement would be a good reason for an ultrasound, hehehe. When I went in for my exam, the NP told me that I didn't have to worry about getting an ultrasound from a civilian practice, that because of my asthma, she had sufficient reason to order one for me, YAY!!! This time, the ultrasound is being done by radiology, not in the Women's Health clinic, so it may be a longer one, and I really really hope they'll be able to see the gender. My ultrasound is scheduled for the morning of March 20th. I have to wait a month, but I've been waiting longer than that already, so I can wait until then. At least I know I'm getting one. The week after that, I'm going in for a 28-week appointment. I don't know if it's a group appointment or not, but it's with the same person. Hopefully, I'll be able to let her know the gender at that point. Two of the other women in the class had gone to an imaging facility to find out the gender of their babies. If this ultrasound doesn't tell us the gender, that's probably what we're going to do. I'm tired of waiting. I want to give this poor child a name, and I want to be able to go shopping for clothes! We want to know by our April trip, because that will be when Bryan's parents have the chance to do the whole baby shower thing. My mom and dad live in other states, so they will have to wait until they get here to do that, or order stuff online and have it shipped to us. I still plan to have two showers, one with Bryan's parents and our friends back home, and one here for the few people I know around here. I'm still trying to figure out the locale for the first shower. Both his parents live out in the middle of the country, so I might try to find someplace in town that's neutral and would make it easier for everyone to get to. One of my friends here has already offered the use of her house for the baby shower, so that's taken care of. But anyway, that's pretty much the most of what happened at today's appointment. Gotta head to work in a few minutes, so I'll update again after March 20th!

TTFN!!!

Casualties of Pregnancy

I know, I know, odd title for a post, but that was one of the first pregnancy-related thoughts I had this morning when I woke up. I was trying to decide what I wanted to wear today, and I thought of a green shirt I have. It zips up the front, and has a hood and tiny little pockets. I usually wear it with a white cami. I have one white cami (out of four) that still fits okay, without riding up and showing my belly. I thought of my green overshirt and dug it out. It's cold out now (it snowed pretty well yesterday), so I don't wear too many short sleeves. Anyway, I put it on... and it's too short now. It only reaches just below my belly button. My undershirt would have shown about three inches at the bottom. So, with a great sigh (I really like that shirt), I put it away, thinking, "Yet another casualty of pregnancy..." Hence the title. Many of my clothes have become casualties of pregnancy. First went the pants. At three months along, I found myself down to three pairs of normal pants that fit. At four months, I was down to two, and they were tight. I now have three pairs of maternity pants, only two that I actually wear on a regular basis. I have also had to retire my pre-pregnancy bras for now, in favor of two that are one cup size up from before. And those are starting to get tight. Now I'm starting to lose the ability to wear many of my shirts. T-shirts have become a staple. Many of my button-up shirts I still wear, but I can only button to just below my breasts. So I wear camisoles (spaghetti-strap tank tops) under those, and only button one button. It shows off my belly and my big breasts, heh hehe hehe. It's funny, though, I'm big enough to be showing and losing the ability to wear a lot of my clothes, but I'm not big enough to be able to wear most maternity shirts without them looking funny. I'm just glad I am past the point where I'm almost showing, not enough for anyone who doesn't know me to be able to tell. I can still hide it if I want to, but who wants to do that??? I'm starting to show even through T-shirts. But when I wear clothes that hug my curves, it's obvious. I am just now to the point where my belly sticks out farther than my breasts. My neighbor Sam and I are planning to go clothes shopping soon, she's pregnant, and just starting to show. But she's having such an issue with nausea and food aversions, she's actually losing weight. So far, it's not been a big deal, her baby's still doing just fine, and she's a little overweight, so no one's too worried, except her, of course. But anyway, I might buy another maternity shirt, but I'm more in the market for pants at this point. One of my neighbors gave me a bunch of maternity clothes, but many of them aren't my style and/or are too big. She's a medium, I'm a small, and Sam's a large. I'm thinking about asking one of our other neighbors if she wants them, she's closer to Ashley's size than either Sam or me.

Bryan's mom gave us our first baby present yesterday. She sent us a box with various things in it, some paperwork we needed for the truck, What to Expect the First Year book, since I already have the Expecting one, the What to Expect Pregnancy Journal, a Sudoku calendar for Bryan, and a Tigger toy for the baby. It's meant to go on carrier handles and such. It's really cute, got a couple of hanging bugs that crinkle when you squeeze them, and a little mirror for the baby to see him/herself in. I told Bryan that it's official now, this baby's a Tigger baby!!! I already have a small quilt that was made for me with Tigger on it. And of course, I have SO many stuffed Tiggers, it's not even funny. Even a giant one that sits two to three feet tall. So we've already got some decorations for the baby's room once we get moved.

I started the process of getting back into college this week. I filled out the FAFSA, the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, and applied for re-enrollment into the University of Missouri-Columbia. I don't know how many classes I'm going to be taking yet, since I have to go back through and figure out what exactly I need to take and what's offered in the different semesters. Last I knew, I technically only need one semester's worth of credits, but because of when certain classes were offered, it was going to take me two semesters to get them. I also checked into child care offered on campus. There are two options, one caters to the entire community and serves as a learning center for students majoring in Early Childhood Education and the like, and the other caters strictly to student parents. The first one, CDL, only takes 7 infants at a time, but the fees are really good. I don't know what the age diversity is for the second one, but that one costs significantly more than the CDL. I have a better chance of getting the baby into the Student Parent Center simply because it only takes children of MU students, where the CDL takes children from all over Columbia. But from the respective websites of the two child care centers, the CDL just sounds better to me, aside from the very reasonable costs.

In other news, Bryan finally got to feel the baby kick! It's still hard for him to distinguish between our respective heartbeats and the baby's movements, since his hands are so work-roughened, but he did finally get to feel some pretty vigorous movements the other day. Since about a week and a half ago, it seems that I've felt movement pretty much every day. Some days, it's only just a little when I lie down to sleep at night, but lately, baby's been moving a lot more during the day. I'm also starting to feel movement in my upper uterus, where before, it was mainly in the lowest part of it. It was funny, last night, Bryan had his head in my lap watching TV, and his head was resting against my belly. Baby kept kicking at the spot where Bryan's head was. Bryan didn't feel it, but I just started laughing. When I told him what was happening, Bryan looked at my belly and gave the baby his mean face. It was quite humorous.

More and more I'm finding that I am incredibly blessed when it comes to this pregnancy. I hear so much about all these discomforts women have, even into the second trimester, and I've had very little of any of it. I never had morning sickness very badly, only vomited once because of it. I never had a great deal of cramping. I only had one issue with bleeding, and we knew what caused that. The fatigue I felt in the first trimester was tolerable, since I wasn't working. None of my cravings have been overly strange or ill-timed, except for wanting ice cream at 8pm on Christmas Eve. I don't seem to have any food aversions now. My appetite is good, my blood pressure's okay, my hormones aren't messing with my emotions too much now. The only real complaint I have that is pregnancy-related is the incessant nasal congestion. I have to wear Breathe-Right strips to bed so I can sleep. Some nights that doesn't even work. but God has most certainly smiled on this pregnancy. The thought has crossed my mind that all that bad stuff is just biding its time, waiting for the third trimester, or, Heaven forbid, labor and delivery. But I don't dwell on that, perish the thought. I am just enjoying having this pregnancy going without a hitch. It's incredible!

Well, I'm going to save this and switch computers so I can upload a picture or two. Since we upgraded our desktop, my Kodak software is no longer compatible, so I have to use the laptop to add pictures from our digital camera. Fun, fun.

TTFN!!! (hee hee, also a Tigger thing: Ta Ta For Now)