JR's First Doctor's Appointment

Hello, all, I can't believe it's been two months since I updated! It seems like the time goes by so fast, and yet so slowly at the same time. Staying at home like I do, with each day being very much like the last, the time seems to drag. But then I look back, and I see just how much J.R. has grown and developed, and I wonder, where did it all go? It's a wonderful thing being able to stay home, but I also seem to take a lot for granted doing that as well. Today made me realize that I really shouldn't do that any longer.

In some ways, I feel like a bad parent because I haven't gotten him to the doctor until now. But then I look at it and realize that I did the best I could. I wanted to make sure that he was going to be taken care of in case something went wrong with a vaccination, or he had another problem that we needed to address. Until our insurance became effective, and we had the funding to allow for it, we really couldn't have afforded any other issues beyond getting him vaccinated. And I also realized that vaccinations are optional. Some parents don't get their children vaccinated, and they aren't brought up on charges of child endangerment or neglect. I didn't know that before.

But anyway... It took me calling five different pediatricians, and being redirected to over a half dozen other offices before I found one that was taking new patients. Then the receptionist couldn't find our insurance information in her database. So I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to get him seen by this doctor after all. But when I gave her Bryan's information, I guess that did it, because she stopped talking like it wasn't working out for her. So he had an appointment for two days later. Finally.

So this morning, I take Bryan to work so I'll have the truck. His appointment was at 8:00am, I arrived at 8:10. He's called back, and I strip him down, wrap him in a Chux pad (those blue papery pads like what you put down for puppies when you're housetraining) and we go take his weight. He weighs 12 pounds. The little stinker, now that his toes are exposed, he chews on his big toe the entire time the nurse is taking his weight. It was really cute. We get his length (24 and 3/4 inches), he didn't like that so much, because I had to adjust his head so that the top of it was touching the edge of the scale, and the nurse was holding his leg down. We go back to the exam room, where I tell the nurse that he needs his first round of shots, because the only shot he's ever gotten was his HepB. The head nurse comes in and hands me the vaccine information sheets. He has to have one extra shot than is usually needed at his age because he's too old to be given the vaccine orally. So he's getting four shots: HiB/HepB, polio, rotavirus, and DTaP. The doctor comes in, doesn't look much older than me. We start talking, and I am SO nervous. I was afraid that she was going to chide me for waiting so long to get him in. But she didn't. She quizzed me about family history and what my pregnancy and delivery was like. She asked me if I had any concerns, and I mentioned his weight, that everyone told me he was very small for his age. He's started on rice cereal, and we are just now starting him on vegetables, but it hasn't made him gain any that I could tell. We only manage to get him cereal about three times a week. She showed me the growth chart, and he is below the 5th percentile for his age. She said that with only two measurements, this one and his birth weight, it was hard to gauge how much of a concern that should be. But she wanted to see us again in two to four weeks for a weight check. She felt his lymph nodes and listened to his breathing and heart rate. Then she gave me bad news: She heard a murmur. She explained that it's not really anything to be too concerned about, but it might explain the weight issue. On its own, she would just keep an eye on it. But because he's so small, she scheduled us for an ultrasound of his heart, so they can look at it and see what exactly is causing his murmur. I wanted to cry. Here I thought I was doing okay, that he was healthy and happy and fine, so I felt okay about not getting him to the doctor. But then I'm told that there is indeed something wrong with him, and I feel terrible. But I tried not to worry too much. At least not until I know if there is something bigger to worry about. Heart murmurs are common in babies, many grow out of them. So the doctor finishes up with him, and the nurses come in with the needles. I play with J.R. and tickle him while they do the alcohol swab and prep for shots. They ask me to hold his hands. So I do, and I continue playing with him. I can't watch when I get a shot, so I certainly don't turn my head so I can see when they stick him. He lets me know all on his own. He starts wailing. I don't hear the "I'm in pain" cry very often. I hate that cry, because nearly every time, it's my fault; I've pinched him with a buckle, or scratched him with my nail, or bonked his head on something. This time was no different. I let someone stab him with a needle. My head knew why, but my heart hurt to hear that cry. But he was fine the minute I picked him up. They had me sign a document, I'm ashamed to say I have no idea what it was for, and they left, telling me I could nurse him and keep the room for some extra time for that. So I nursed him, during which he fell asleep, and then I had to wake him up again to get him dressed. We went back out to the reception desk and got his ultrasound and weight check scheduled. I called Bryan when I got home. He wasn't happy. He researched heart murmurs while I was on the phone and realized that they are actually very common. That eased his mind some, but he was still worried about how much the test was going to cost, and if we were going to have the money for it. I knew we had it, so I wasn't too horribly concerned. While we were coming back home after I picked him up from work, I realized that it was actually a good thing that I waited to bring him to the doctor. If I had actually taken him in for his two month visit and this had been found, we would not have had the money at all to get this test for him. Now we do, and we're in a place where we can get further care if he needs it. Bryan wanted to quit martial arts to make sure that we'd have the money if this needs further investigation and/or treatment, but I urged him not to quit until we know that. There's no need, unless we made it a point to put the money we spent there into our HSA for that purpose. He's not under a contract with them, so he can quit if we realize he needs to.

But we decided to try to feed J.R. his rice cereal/vegetable mix every night for a week, and then increase the feedings to include either breakfast or lunch as well. We're hoping that will help increase his weight. I had thought that he was so small because he was breastfed. Since formula still has so much in it that babies don't need or don't digest, they gain more weight faster. I was too nervous to ask about this with the doctor. I need to make a list, like I did when I was pregnant, to take with me to his weight check. Bryan made a joke, but it was a good point. We're so worried about obesity in America, and we get in trouble because we have a skinny baby. The doctor did say that he doesn't look undernourished, and she asked about a couple developmental markers, which he's hit. That was why I wasn't getting too concerned about his weight, because he seemed healthy, and he was developing on track.

So it was a pretty rough morning. We went home and slept off and on for about four hours. Then we went and picked Bryan up. J.R. was pretty sleepy most of the day. I don't blame him. I felt so sorry for him. It's hard to change his diaper without coming into contact with his injection sites, which are on the tops of both his thighs. Poor kid.

So his ultrasound is next Tuesday, and his weight check and follow-up are the Thursday after Thanksgiving. I will definitely be writing more then. Until then, I'm going to try to go on like I have been, try not to worry too much, and try not to spoil J.R. too much just because we found out he has a heart murmur. He's been fine so far, he'll be fine for a couple more weeks. The only thing I'm worried about now is him having a reaction to one of his vaccines. The trouble with giving so many at one time is that there's no way to tell, as far as I know, which one caused the reaction if there is one.

Anyway, I've written enough. I need to get something to snack on and get ready for bed. And check on my baby one more time before I hit the pillow.

TTFN,
Angela